So after we forgive someone, how do we behave toward them?

Question

Have a colleague at work who is making problems for me at work. Initially I got caught up in the drama, and feeling like a victim before finally wondering what would Jesus do?

I finally feel able to forgive, but I still can't trust her. I will greet her, and say good-bye but   I am reluctant to be more friendly because everything I say to her she twists and makes it something bad. and then she tattles.

Eagle Beak · Accepted Answer

You're going to have to draw a line in the sand about how you interact with her. So you work with her that that does not make you a doormat to her. 

You may have a very tolerant attitude to her bad behaviour (ie 'forgiven' her) but has she repented of her behaviour? I don't think so. God forgave you when you repented of your sins, but she has not apparently repented to you. So why should you make a doormat out of yourself by 'forgiving' her when she has not repented?

Just because you believe in Christ, you shouldn't end up a soft touch. Christ called out many in his day ie., 'snakes/vipers' etc and he stood up to them. Forgive those who seek your forgiveness by all means, but train your soul to be tougher. It's a tough world out there. Ask God in prayer to help you with understanding. The world is full of such people and you will need to learn how to deal with them.

entropiii · Answer

True forgiveness is the willingness to believe in trust. It is human to be cautious. No one wants to harbor resentment, so I think that is cool of you and it is good for you too. Sometimes we just have to let things slide for the sake of harmony. 

"Turning the other cheek" means giving someone else a chance to do the right thing. Letting whatever happened go meant that same thing. You turned the other cheek. Trust is earned, not given away. Even Jesus knew that. You can forgive, but you do not have to trust. But faith is important. Even in trusting people.

Praht · Answer

Condescendingly

Anonymous · Answer

Avoid her.
Detach mentally/emotionally.
Deal with her only as needed.
Remember that Christ told us to be wise as serpents and simple like doves. You can forgive, but
you must also take care of yourself. 
If she really gets vicious, report her to HR and let them handle it appropriately.

Febs · Answer

honestly, i don't kno what jesus would do. but what i would not do is trust her and be more friendly because obviously that got u nowhere. u dont have to be mean or anything, just don't be as open to her as u were.

Lynn Suri · Answer

If you can't trust her, then don't get any closer to her than "hello" and "goodbye".

So after we forgive someone, how do we behave toward them?

6 Answers