Quit drinking, social life is non existent?

You're getting older anyway, and you've made a big change to your lifestyle (for the better!). But guess what, life is never as easy as 'change one thing, then it's all good forever'. You've got to continue to grow and evolve yourself. For many years, you've built your life around drinking, and now you're not drinking, so it only makes sense that those social scenes aren't working as well.

There is an entire world out there that is socially active, that doesn't involve alcohol. Much of it is based around athletics or fitness. Running, softball league, gym, etc., - all of these are things you can get into, and attempt to rebuild a social circle around.

I'm a little bit older than you, so I can say that as I grew older, the 'craziness' of the social life - drunken escapades, etc., does wear off, and for good reason. You wouldn't want to make that you're whole life.

Incorporate new activities, and build your life around that. Instead of staying up late partying, and considering that your social life, change it up. Get up really early, go for a run outside, go to work, develop healthy habits, then investigate the dating scene, looking for someone else who shares the interests you develop.

Well done first of all for cutting out drinking. It can't have been easy, so if you can eliminate an addictive substance, you can do this whole social thing!

I've suffered from social anxiety so I understand not having the confidence to talk to people. Don't be tempted to drink in order to get that confidence. It's a false sense of security. When you're drunk, you feel like the funniest person alive, but the truth is, you're likely making a complete fool of yourself. And when drunk, you can't tell the difference. It's very easy to cross that line.

So what can you do? First of all, take up something that gives you a purpose in life. If you don't already have a hobby, find one. Try new things. Take up evening classes at college. Volunteer. Join a gym or take up a new sport.

Martial arts is something I can really personally recommend. There are so many positive benefits to learning a martial art. As well as fitness and overall improved health, you will meet like-minded people, whilst learning essential self-defense, confidence, discipline, respect and leadership skills.

All of which will make you more appealing and interesting to potential new partners! Aside from which, not many students of martial arts would be impressed with drinking or put off if you don't.

Another pointer I would mention, is that if you struggle to meet women or approach them in person, online dating is a good option. I actually met my current partner through match.com. What have you got to lose by trying?

you need to find friends who also do not drink

yes alcohol is part of the social scene but not always

there are loads of people who do not or can not drink for many reasons

I do relate as I am not a drinker and got sick of being the designated driver and having to spend hours listening to drunken ravings and bullshit they go on about always the topic is how they got drunk the last time and boring boring

there is no instant solution but hang in there oh and lots of girls would really appreciate a dude that does not drink... find other social outlets good luck

Work with a therapist. A therapist will help you with your social anxiety which is making it hard to speak to people.

You should also look at different ways of meeting people. Parties are very alcohol oriented, and they aren't good ways to form friendships.

Join a sports team or a volunteer group or a book club. Take a class. Whatever your hobby is, ask at a store if there is a group or class available.

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