Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and the Yahoo Answers website is now in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.
Is your sex life bad?
365 days of sex
TO MY DEAR GIRLFRIEND (WIFE):
During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have
succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The
following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:
4 times the sheets were clean
7 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be asleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hair-do
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us
Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:
6 times you just laid there
8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling
4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move
TO MY DEAR BOYFRIEND (HUSBAND):
I think you have things a little confused.
Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:
5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn't ***
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in THE BALLS
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball, playingvideo g
Of the times we did get together:
The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the
sheets.
I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was,"Would
you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"
The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to
breathe.
9 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade ago
lmao...very interesting, thank you for the funny
lifted my spirits in time for the Bunny. My sex life was really good 36 times so thank you for that ..no I really mean thank you !!!! 7 out of those 36 times you were a little to early ..oops I really mean Little...lol I also thank you for that because I was able to watch my show on time.
I suggest you get a hearing aid because it is your wife who likes it from the back and I was really talking about the crack ...lol...I have a mirror on my ceiling.
- ?Lv 45 years ago
you may desire to circulate to the surgeon. At your age you'll be desiring it extra desirable than that. you have a issue with hormones. Is it solid once you do have intercourse? If not, is it once you're on my own? that could help verify if it truly is hormonal or he in basic terms desires some classes on your physique. and you are the only one to coach him what you desire. additionally, in case you have been stated very religious you have some repressed strategies approximately having intercourse earlier marriage. we could desire to think of we are previous hectic approximately that even though it truly is all in comparison on your perspectives once you have been youthful. study to love giving a bj. attempt flavored lube. not honest for him to could desire to circulate without and that's lots relaxing! yet, start up with the surgeon to verify hormones and circulate from there. existence is in basic terms too short to leave out out any any intercourse!!!
- natasha *Lv 41 decade ago
Very very good. And is that what the joys of married lifes hold in store for me?
- Anonymous1 decade ago
That is verygood I really enjoyed that one, please can you e-mail it to me I would love to show some people I know will appreciate it, leighannduarte@yahoo.com
