How do you dole out warning for time outs?

I set up a visual reminder for the kids to see so they remember when they're about to get a "consequence".

-In our kitchen we have 3 big circles, Red, Yellow, Green.

-Each child has a colored star (they decorate themselves) that has the child's pic on it and everyday they start out on Green.

-I give 1 and only 1 verbal warning if they mess up, then their star gets moved to Yellow.

-One more infraction after that and they get moved to Red and they have a "consequence".

The consequences vary but it usually is related to whatever behavioral issues they're having problems with that day.

***If my kids spend the whole day with their star on Green then they get extra storytime with mom or dad at bedtime.

I think the best part of our system is the fact that all day long they can just look on the wall and know how they're doing with their behavior. It helps us alot.

the warning should stand the rest of the day. But don't use time out for everything. The consequence has to fit the crime. Hitting and hurting = time out while throwing a toy means that you cannot use those specific toys for the rest of the afternoon. Otherwise timeouts will stop working. A new warning is issued for a new offense. Children should only get one warning and then the consequence is given. You are teaching your child life skills here - not just that hitting is unacceptable. It does start this young.

Hitting anyone (me, DH, sister, friend, dog) is a No Warning event, if he hits he sits. No questions.

Other stuff (jumping on the couch, playing too rough, not listening) he gets 3 warnings in pretty fast order. If it's been more than like half an hour or so between warning 1 and warning 2 then we start over.

For time outs we do one minute per year. My son is 3 so he gets 3 minutes.

Warnings can be very tricky. They are best avoided.

They only serve in the place of a rule that had not been previously made clear. For instance, if the child had not truly understood that hitting the dog was not OK, a warning may be in order.

Once the rule is unambiguously established, a consequence needs to follow the violation.

Time outs are often good, but they are not the only thing you can do. They are best used when the child is misbehaving becasue of his surroundings and a break allows the child to reset himself. If I had a toddler, hitting a dog, the first consequence would be that he would not be allowed to play with the dog for a while.

I count. We have three warnings and then a time out.

But I try to cluster those warnings pretty closely together. If it's been 20 minutes - or an hour - I start fresh.

If the offense is serious - hitting, for example, or throwing - there are no warnings. We go straight to time out.

Usually the counting happens when I'm trying to get him to *do* something - pick up his toys, come upstairs, stop jumping on the bed.

Otherwise, it's too tough for me to keep track of the counting - much less for my child to get the impact of the warnings.

If in doubt, I just put him in time out. It helps us *both* calm down.

the warning should stand for the rest of the day, otherwise the child will learn that if he/she leave an ammount of time between behaviours he/she can get away with it.

with the hitting benji example, you should put him straight in time out making sure you explain why hes there, same regarding an hour, 2 hours, 5 hours etc.

issue a new warnin if the behaviour changes or worsens, only warn and time out for 1 behaviour at a time, thi sway he/she wont get confused with why they are there.

i think it depends on the behaviours that you do not want your child to be exhibiting, so on that point i think its your personal choice.

hope that helped Goodluck x

if you cant control your own child and have to ask silly questions about it,you really should'nt be a parent should you?...each kid is different and i spank mine on the bottom if they ignore the warning...it never hurt me and i have respect for my parents....something most kids dont have now days