How do I move on after splitting with my husband and then death of father all within 2 months?

I am totally feeling your pain - I got divorced and my mother died in a short period of time as well, years ago. It sounds like you were pretty close to your dad, and that was pretty much the last straw for you. But you must know that your dad would never want to see you this miserable - allow him to live through you and share his strength as well as share with him the good things you experience (which is not crying and laying in bed). Everything I do that gives me pleasure there's a little voice inside me that says "how'd you like that mom?" Even when I have a really great bite of steak I imagine I am sharing that with my mom too! And when you fall in love again - and you will (your obviously too passinate and worthy not to), you can share that excitement with your dad as well. It's difficult to get motivated, but sometimes its just as simple as feeling the warmth of the sun on your face when your driving down the street and sharing that little bit of enjoyment with your dad. He is right there with you, and every time you smile, it makes him smile too. Do anything and everything you can do make yourself smile. The little reasons will give you bigger reasons in time, trust me...

It takes time to get over these things - its only been a short while. When I was in my 20's I lost both my parents and a close friend, all in a 9 month period, and it through me off track entirely for a few months, and life never did return to normal - it was more of a new beginning in a different life. Give things a little more time and don't worry about the way you feel right now - just keep trying the things you are doing and sooner or later things will begin to feel normal again. Few people would be back on their feet yet.

I don't know what to say about the husband thing - it seems like a complication at this point. Maybe you could just ask him to give a month or two to deal with this on your own?

I am sure this in no way compares to your loss-and i am truley sorry that it happened to you.

My grandparents both died 3 weeks from each other due to a car crash and then 1 month later my best friend who i had known since 3rd grade died in a car crash. the same year i did get married. All three were in my wedding.

I first asked God why then promtly told him i was never speaking to him ever again. i of course did, when the voice boomed who i thought i was to demand such things when it was him who created them to begin with.

and to ask myself what life would have been like without them.

and to remember that time in my life he had provided me these people when i had needed them the most in my life.

Thing are bad right now and i do not belive your husband has tried to be anything less than supportive and a friend you have lots of history that neither one of you will ever be able to just "seperate from" it will always be there. accept the confort for what it is do not read more into it than that.

loosing a parent is hard and only TIME can heal wounds like that. You think the world should stop and take note of your pain but it does not the world still needs to move.

take things day by day this does not mean you ever stop thinking about your father which is good it keeps his memory alive and well within you. Even if he is not there to add to the memorys he still lives because you never forgot.

I wish you the very best and remember you still have to live your life day by day to do otherwise would not make your dad happy.he loves you and you know it.

Remember the last time you smiled ? look everyday for something to smile or laugh about it will get easier.

I will say a prayer.

loosing a parent is always difficult and you can't expect the pain and depression to go away in a few months. it will never go away you'll always miss them and wish they were there but you just learn how to cope with life without them. I would suggest against antidepressants and a councelor especially the antidepressants. what u r feeling right now is O.K. and natural...just cry it out and sleep it out when you can...do that for the rest of the winter...just take a few months to totally wallo in self pity and depression, but make a mental note and decision that once Spring rolls around and everything is being "Rebirthed" again that you'll go through a rebirth of our self. start going out doing stuff and getting involved....but for right now it's o.k. to feel depressed don't try to push it. While you're in your depression and taking time to yourself utilized this time for self reflection on what YOU (not anyone else) want out of life. Once you figure that out make sure you come out the gate in Spring like a horse on race day! Remember you can be a winner....but remember even horses break an ankle have to take time off from the races.

Don't push yourself in living too quickly, you have alot on your plate, nurture yourself and don't judge yourself. Take this time to reflect and love you. If you feel like laying in bed than do it. Don't believe those words that state "Time will Heal". You lost a loved one two infact. I lost my dad in 2005 and it hurts as if it happened yesturday. I oppted to not take anti depressants because I was told it would prolong my grieving so I just dealt with my emotions, I think I went from devestation, to denial, anger, deep sadness, to finally acceptance. I had a marriage break up as well and to tell you the truth the emotions were completely the same. Although I was faced with new challenges, learning to live my life as a single parent. I took up a yoga class, and began meditating with music. Even in class i'de burst into tears but no one judged me, and I was shocked that no one paid attention but relieved that I was able to be in a safe environement and just let go, with each yoga move I became grounded and feelings of power soared through me and eventually I transformed into the woman I never new excisted. I stayed commited to finding solitude through my losses and kept twords healing myself. It was hard especially because my friends had no clue on how to console me and I didn't want to be a burden. I had to rely on myself on a daily basis, and work twords forgiveness, for myself and for my exhusband. It was a painful time, but we all have the capacity to over come these obsticales including the death of a loved one. Take the time for your own personal healing, and know that for every exit there is a new begining awaiting your arrival. You are not alone.....

When you are ready get out there and make your mark, find things that interest you, take a class and learn something new, but more importantly relax, breathe, allow yourself to grieve, and mourn, you'll know when it's time to begin living again.....{{{hugs}}}

If I can do it anyone can, much love to you ;)

Counceling is always a great place to go~

I am very sorry for your loss. The death of my dad some years ago was very hard for me also. The only thing I can tell you about your dad is time does make it easier to accept. I still think about my dad all the time but it is easier then it was in the beginning. Believe me, it will get easier. As far as your separation goes, I believe that time will make it easier for you also. If the breakup is what you both want or one of you wants, then somehow things will work out. Hang in there. It is part of life unfortunately.

The best thing to do is realize that everything happens for a reason. It's your turn to step up and move on because the world isn't stopping for you. Realize you're a strong independent woman and what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger. Take this happening and your negative energy and put into something positive. Let it be motivation for you to possibly lead a healthier, longer life. Good luck dear. Best of wishes.

My mother went through this EXACT SAME THING.

I watched her cry sometimes...because it hurt her...her father was always her guiding light and when he died, he wasn't there to help with the divorce.

My mother isn't like others, I suppose...she can deal with things on her own, as long as she has a journal to write in. My advice would be to find someone you can confide in that isn't your husband...a close friend or family member...and tell him how confused he makes you.

If the plan is to get back together with him, then tell him that you really need him right now and maybe things will eventually work themselves out...

Good luck...I feel for you...

I would say you went into overload with all that happened. Also, you are still grieving. This just happened. You need a whole lot more time. Allow yourself time to grieve. In time you will feel a little better. Look into some books on grieving. I have had a lot of loss and didn't feel I would be okay as each event took place, but, in time, I did feel a little better.

You are in the throes of grief, and my sympathy goes out to you.

It's ok to take the time you need to grieve. I think you should cry in bed as much as you feel like it... Don't force yourself to go out too much, except for counseling.

But if I were you, I'd try not to contact the ex so often. You might ask him not to call you more than once a month because even though his intention is to be supportive, it actually makes it harder for you to move on.

Take care.