Why do some people in relationships do this?

Question

Apologies in advance if this is long.

Basically, after a while of being with my girlfriend I decided that I was seeing her too often and that I would like some space. This leads to the situation that I am in now, which is that I see her every other day. Sometimes, I would like a little bit more space, but I'm fine with the current arrangement. Anyway, my girlfriend would probably be happy to see me more often than we see each other now, and she probably wouldn't get fed up.

Now on to my friend, he is in a relationship with a girl who is a lot worse, and I mean a lot. She will be happy to spend 4 days consecutively with him, but not just that, she will also sleep over so that he never gets a break. Sometimes he specifically tells her not to come over to his house, but she selfishly turns up even after being told no just because she wants to see him, and not vice versa. He told me that at one point, it got to the point where she would text him and he would groan to himself about it.

Anyway, both me and him agree that this is annoying, and we're confused as to how these two girls can handle being with their partners so much, and not want their own space. I mean, don't they get fed up?

Also just to clarify, both of us are not at the beginning of our relationships, where normally new couples want to spend every day with each other lol.

Thanks for your time :D

Petra Chor · Accepted Answer

Some girls are needy and insecure. Not only is it very annoying, it is also very unhealthy and you are doing the right thing by establishing boundaries. The problem you friend is having is that there aren't any consequences for not respecting his boundaries. Without consequences she will continue to disregard his needs.

Lisa · Answer

It is nice to have your own space and I agree that you can sometimes feel suffocated by your partner if they’re clingy and there all the time, however you should want to see each other often. Myself and my boyfriend don’t see each other every evening/day, but we meet up 2/3 days per week for lunch. Your friend certainly shouldn’t be ‘groaning’ when his partner contacts him, it is quite obvious that he doesn’t want to be with her if this is the case.

I do think that girls get more ‘clingy’ and demanding than guys and this makes a lot of guys feel suffocated, however if you only see your girlfriend every other day then this means you still have plenty of time to do your own thing. If your friend isn’t happy with his partner and her actions then he should tell her. She should not just be turning up at his house etc but she’s only doing it because he allows her to.

shortie · Answer

If you don't want to spend much time with her, why are you with her?  Even if you're not at the beginning of your relationship, you should still feel you want to be with your partner more than you do.

Let her go and find someone who loves her.

Why do some people in relationships do this?

3 Answers