Is this appropriate for a father to ask?

Question

My father is a social worker, despite this, he and I have always had a difficult time getting along. He always seemed obsessed with my appearance, to the point that I felt uncomfortable and tried to gain weight as my protection.

I have what one would call the "baby," look. Chubby face, big eyes, very pale skin, red hair and freckles, and am about 5'3, with a small, fleshy body, so I would not be considered playboy material. (I am 22)

At 12 my dad started going on and on about my "womanly curves" (I was an early bloomer) and when I started to gain weight at 13, he talked about me getting a gym membership, and had a discussion about how I should get a 6 pack! He said in these words

"You could get a 6 pack, paired with the womanly curves you've developed you could wear a bikini, guys would be checking you out like crazy!"

Not only was this unrealistic, but I found it degrading. There were many comments of this sort

He seemed to want me to grow up far too young, at 13 he told me I was too old to shop at Claire's (accesory shop) and too old to have colorful streaks in my hair. He often would say "you're a woman now,"

But the funny thing is, he continued to spank me bare bottomed, telling me it doesn't matter if you are six or sixteen.

Is there a chance my dad could have been physically attracted to me, but had enough self control not to touch me?

Annefromantrim · Accepted Answer

It is time for you to leave home.

Anonymous · Answer

That's tough to answer. Some of this sounds pretty innocent, but some sounds like it COULD mean he was simply trying to replace your mom and his desires for her, towards you. I know that sounds sick, but as long as he never acted on any desires. With the spanking thing, there's nothing wrong with that, he's just doing his parental duties. My sister was spanked till she was 16 or so, a lot of girls are spanked to a later age than boys. But I'd say not to worry about it. How is your relationship now? Does he still spank you?

? · Answer

Yes, indeed.  Your dad is in need of a good spanking.  And, where is your other parent while all this is going on, none of which should be?

Anonymous · Answer

since your mom had passed on, your dad was looking at you as the next woman in his life. and he did a great job of restraining himself from touching you. if you feel like you have issues now about what he told you then, maybe you should sit down with him and talk to him about what he had said to you then. woman and man, not father and daughter

David B · Answer

I'd say you should turn your father in to his bosses and see what they think

Is this appropriate for a father to ask?

5 Answers