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About making friends as a shy person, help?

I'm a shy person, in that I don't usually try to make friends, and avoid interaction to a fault. The two places where I see people are: before a class starts -or- in the student lounge.

Should I deliberately walk up to people, or casually sit next to a person to start a conversation? It seems kind of deceitful to approach someone on purpose and play it as though it were a matter of chance. I know that I only want to approach certain individuals. Would playing it off as a casual encounter be ethical? I can make conversation, I just don't want to ruin it on a bad first impression.

Update:

Also, this is college, freshman year, second semester.

7 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    dont worry everything will be ok! :) .... i feel the same way sometimes .... just start by saying hi .... and try not to go to any of the popular kids .... its fine if your scared its normal so dont worry .... i still have trouble making friends its hard sometimes .... and also i think a few kids are trying to be friends with me but im still kinda afraid to talk with them .... just go to the people who u think will make good friends for you and sit next to them and just start by saying hi or i like your shirt .... just something cassual u know? .... good luck! :)

  • 1 decade ago

    Lol Ethical? Seriously? It's not like you are conducting an experiment on someone where they will get hurt. A lot of people make friends like that, it just makes it less awkward for some people, because some people to get uncomfortable if you just walk up to them rather then perhaps talk about something you know they are interested in or have in common. What you can do is approach someone perhaps you see often, or see in your classes so you have some common ground. Good luck, I am shy too and not until my second semester did I really start making friends that I would hang out with, but my first semester I did make friends from classes I had by just talking to someone next to me in class one day about the class or the work load and then finding them the next class and sitting next to them. Then we became friends : )

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    there are probably an awful lot of shy people there but they're feeling the same way as you. So take some initiative. You just gotta suck it up and make the first move. Find some cool event that you think is interesting and might interest your prospective friend, and ask them if they want to check it out with you. It might feel weird to do this, but the worst that can happen is they say they're busy. Make sure you add everyone you meet to your Video Chat Rounds on Facebook (http://apps.facebook.com/chatrounds/ ). Keeping up with people online is a good way to build relationships, especially if you don't get to see people every day.

  • 1 decade ago

    I always have that same issue. I never know if someone im sat next to wants to talk or not. I grew up with my dad talking to everyone even tho they didnt really want to and it always embarased me so I don't take the chance now. if you can make convo and there's people you want to chat to the just go ahead and do it. it's always worth starting with a question to get things going like how did you find that essay etc. some people are just waiting for you to talk to them as they are the same way lol i know i am. good luck with it.

  • 1 decade ago

    I'm shy too. I avoid any random/forced encounters in public places. Maybe join a club that shares similar interests as you, so then you have a subject to talk about and make friends.

  • ?
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    I recognize wherein you are coming from. Kind of far away socially, very dependable to these you preserve near, believe on my own, and simply want anyone who demands you, too. You'll draw in the ones such as you. Those who realise as good. Harder to uncover those humans. Takes longer to fairly type such bonds. But it's going to occur. Never quit; maintain on going. Want to speak w/ anyone? Feel unfastened to ship me a message(:

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You just knew yourself - you must be kidding...

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