sister issue, wrote e-mail wishing I hadn't sent?

Honestly , I feel sorry for what your going through. Maybe your sister is just busy and can't spend her time talking on the phone , or could possibly be upset at you for something you don't know about. And if her son sends you nasty replies , try and explain to him that you want to be close with your sister again , right now as it is me and my sister don't get along but in the end we do. Hope you have good luck with your situation , and I hope your sister talks to you again.

You must be feeling very hurt and bewildered by all this. First thing is don't blame yourself. Do write a letter stating how hurt you are but try not to be provocative and be prepared for rejection with either no reply or another nasty one. If this happens you will know that you tried your best and these people are just maybe not worth bothering with anyway if that's the way they behave. You will have left the door open for a change of heart. Sadly if they won't respond you can't do more. The only other thing I can think of is there a mutual friend who might be able to tell you a little more which might explain why they are behaving the way they are? Was there a will with maybe something they didn't like?

Well I grew up with kind of this situation in her sons view. My mum never got along with her sister and would use us to kind of hold it aginst her. I think though your sister is trying to move on with her life right now and feels just a bit depressed from your parents passing.

I think he got into the adoption thing because I think your sister was talking about your parents but then feels like you don't feel the same pain because they weren't your reall parents. Of course I doubt it's true but it's what my exceperence tells me.

Now I know you don't want to hear this or maybe you do but I think your sister doesn't want to hear from you. But here is the thing, with each letter you write it's going to get worse and the fact is she looks at you differently now. It's hard to change.

I suggest you take a break weather it's a few months to a few years. I know that sounds long but it's what's best. Then try inviting her to a special event, be happy and don't rant about the past to her. Or just show your family or friends around the island and let her know youll be there if she has any free time.

:)

I hope this helps a bit

*Leah*

Perhaps that sister was just getting along to appeal to your parents when they were here? Seems her true feelings, or resentment is showing now. You said how you feel, now it's her issue to not include you in her life in any way. As rotten as that seems, I'd let go and move on..May be a chance for you to do any search for your birth family now to make up for lost time and a reunion? Or have hobbies to make new friends to do things with if your so called sister chooses to avoid you further. Her loss I say.

Wow...how completely immature of both her AND her son.

If it were me, just to be a jerk, I'd write her son back and say this:

"Since your mother is incapable of answering her own letters and fighting her own battles, perhaps you could relay this message to her for me, and take it to heart for yourself as well: There is no moral or legal crime in trying to repair a relationship that has been damaged, and there was certainly no reason whatsoever for YOU to butt in. If I have hurt your mother's feelings with my letter, that's NOTHING compared to how she's hurt mine over the years. If she would like to talk to me about this then she is welcome to call me, but be aware that any communication from YOU will be sent straight to the trash. I have no time for your stupidity, immaturity and irrationality."

Send it, and let that be IT. If you get another letter from him, tear it up and throw it away, or just delete it if it's e-mail. If he calls, don't answer. If he leaves a voicemail, just delete and don't listen. Same for texts. Don't take ANY form of communication from him whatsoever. That way you win, he loses, and you don't even have to get upset!

And if your sister has something to say, then she'll be forced to either say it to you herself or let it eat away at her forever.

In the meantime, work on being happy, cultivating your relationship with your friends and other people who matter in your life. I know it hurts, and it really sucks, but try not to waste any more energy on your "sister". I'm thinking she was probably insanely jealous of you anyway, and resents you for being the special adopted one probably. Her bitterness doesn't have to be your problem.

Good luck!

Just write back, there isnt much you can loose anymore.

Write back again. there isn't anything to lose if you do.