Any thoughts on this poem, are the rhymes too forced?

It feels a bit consciously 'poetic', whatever that means. As for the rhymes, like crunching salt in your food.

No, the rhymes don't sound forced to me at all. I've read it through a few times and it grows on me.

The only thing I wonder is the use of the word shells in L6. Not quite sure I follow that one...

I don't think the rhymes are forced at all. I didn't notice them so that means it flowed well. I like this ... at first I didn't like the last two lines repeating, but upon my re-read I realized it sorta needs to be there like that.

This flows beautifully. Not forced at all.

Excellent write this is!

last couplet makes me choke up a little...powerful.

Not forced at all...they are beautiful words of memory

I like 'strange shells' actually. It's sort of like people...

I really really like this, actually. May not technically be wonderful but I love the imagery.

Not forced at all and I quite enjoyed this.

I would have not repeated the last line....but, heck, Alobar, what do I know?

Thanks,

ma

Angels : strange shells

That's the only forced (it is DEFINITELY forced) rhyme I see. The rest are just fine.

I often seek your advice. I'm not an expert, but this flows well. Not forced at all.

I think it struggles to create too much beautiful imagery. "stars", "angels", "shells," "jewel"... too much beauty can kill a poem.

but I do like it. just needs to be toned down a bit.