2 part ? help with 12 yr old daughter?

seisteph,

MMM pretty complicated situation u got there. Try the following. Spend some time alone with yourself. Really recall the way you were when you were prebubesant or entering puberty. See any resemblance? Don't be too hard on dad. We are all thumbs when it comes to dealing with daughters growing up.

Then with the patience of Job, take your daughter for a weekend just mother and daughter, it may take a week. And listen, really listen to her as she talks. It's like opening a window to her little world where it can be so overwhelming to someone with no coping skills. The hardest thing to do, or not do is criticizing.

You are the navigator and she is trying to pilot this plane called life. Just gently give course corrections. Give her different ways to reason out different courses of actions but let her make the decision. if you do it right then she will come to your conclusion on her own and it will be hers and you may the smile inwardly.

Dont sweat on the little things like underware how she dresses etc accept a small amount of back chat but draw a line at certain language and be consistant. Let her know of the consequenses of her talking to you in a certain way and make sure you follow through kids need to know exactly what the repercussions of their actions will be it may be harsh but it creates stability. Dont yell or scream... be the adult. Some times we need to let them suffer a little for example if my son forgets to take a note to school about a day trip(after a few gentle reminders) Then he doesn't go. Good luck 12 is a very hard age.

Unfortunately all you can do is love her. the adolescent brain goes through hormonal & physical changes over which the child has no control. Sometimes the child herself doesn't even know why she is doing the things she does. In most cases this is merely a phase - but in some cases can be a silent scream for emotional guidance.

Being the grandmother of a 12 year-old girl myself right now, I have to constantly remind my daughter of her own actions at that age.

You remind them, you love them, and you take a deep breath and hope to get through it.

Teenagers.

I have two kids 11 years old boy and 12 years old girl. I know that are you going through. My sincere recomendation is not to ignore this. You are the mother, not a friend, she should see the diference. Never shout to her. If you shout you are loosing the control. Respect hers opinion but it does not means that she is going to do whatever she wants. Make a wirtten contract with her about the rules, but not only you rules. Listen at her because she is acting like if she is mad with you for some reason. May be is a stupid thing to us but a very inportant thing to her. Modeling is the best way to take care about this. You most know her friends and allow her to spend some supervised time with them in order for you to know them. First try to know why is she so mad, after that show her all the love that you have to her and do not espect a quick change but the things are going to be better. Trust me!!!

your daughters hormones are probably all over the place. Most kids back chat at her age. I just cannot believe what you did with your daughters underwear!! Okay shes a bit lapse in the personal hygeine department (at least they go in the wash). Try treating her with a bit of respect, then she might return it.

she is 12 and a girl so she is probably just hormonal hence the complaining etc. I went through a rough patch with my dad through my teen years but we worked it out just by sitting down and talking about things every now and then, it might be difficult at first but it is worth it.

That's disgusting!

Just tell her about personal hygeine and maybe even get one of her honest friends to have a chat with her.

Refuse to buy her anymore clothes until she starts changing the basics

Have avery cool and smooth conversation with her and try to encourage her more, have you try inviting a friend of hers at your home(good attitude).Don't buy her another indies until thind change.Let her complain as much as she can ignore her and she will feel that nobody is listening but you are.Don't give up have self encouragement.

Why are you complaining?

This is how you raised her to be.

I noticed you tried EVERYTHING but spanking.

It is too late for that now.She KNOWS she owns you and you have NOTHING as far as consequences that will deter her from doing what she wants.Send her to live with her dad if he is a decent guy, and HE will straighten her out.He won't put up with what you put up with hon.He can probably intimidate her, you can't.Her dad probably won't be afraid to spank her.

she not to old to have her bum smacked.

do u seriously keep tabs on how many undies and bras she puts in the wash

i dont change min every day unless i have done a #2

maybe 4 times per week is enough