How long does it take for you to tell your partner something is bothering you?

I think you are scratching at the surface of something that could really make your relationship so much easier. You already know that getting it out & communicating about a problem is key. The trick you have to master is just learning to jump in & deal w/ the situation in a timely manner. This is a little difficult because if you do it when you're heated/emotional the convo won't be productive. I'd wait till the initail feelings of being upset subside (a few hours, no longer than a day) & then just be out with it! It's starting the conversation that is the hardest but just do it. Like you said, the longer you wait the more your mind gets to racing & you're all worked up. Give your guy some credit & just go to him. He seems to be doing okay so far. I think if you can implement this you'll love how much smoother things go. I was the same way you were not too many moons ago & I am much happier now. Good luck!

I can honestly say that I feel that way in my relationship with my husband. I get worked up over something that probably most people would shrugg off. I get these weird ideas and play out these scenarios in my head and when I think too hard on it, I start believing them to be true and just get even more upset at my husband. However, I never have a problem confronting my husband with whatever, it just sucks for the other person because I start faulting them without knowing the truth.

For me, what this means is that I am insecure and too pessimistic. I'm still learning to trust people

I used to get like this. For a long time I avoided talking to my husband about what was bothering me, and now Ive come to realize that I dont need to keep things from him. It doesnt do our relationship any good. But now when I have something to tell him I play out all the possible scenarios of how the conversation could go, but Ive realized that its just stupid. If I have a problem with anything I dont need to be nervous to talk to him. So, just remember that he loves you and that he is going to help you the best he can. If you feel anxiousness start to build up, remember that as long as youre open and honest, things will work out fine. You just have to learn to train yourself to stop all the nerves. When you feel nervous, start doing something else that requires a lot of attention. Do something to keep your mind off of it. Good luck

I too have this problem. It just takes practice. I used to not say anything! I didn't want to start a fight or rock the boat. I would walk around like everything was perfect. Every time he'd ask me what was wrong, I'd say nothing. He knew I was lying. Finally I just had enough of holding all that stuff in. It wasn't hurting him by doing that but it was definitely hurting me. Now I just be as honest as I can and when I am mad or hurt I tell him. Our relationship is actually better since I have learned to do this.

It would usually take me anywhere from a few hours to a day or so. I'd do that so I could calm down and make sure I don't scream and yell because I thought screaming and yelling wouldn't get through to him... neither did being calm.

It's good that your husband is receptive as well as respectful of you and what is bothering you. Just work on not getting so paranoid that he will respond negatively to you. It seems like you've always had a positive out come thus far.

Well, it happens to me. You see, I get my panties in a wad about something, and I let it eat at me for a long time. I don't want to do this, I like being the peacemaker. Sometimes, though, I find that if I go ahead and get it off my chest there is an easy explination for what happened or my husband didn't realize he upset me. If you hold it in too long, you will harbour unforgiveness which could turn you into an old lady superfast! :)

No, really, work on letting the person you are upset with know straight foward (who am I to speak I lied to my hubby about failing school : / ). Just say "you hurt me because______. Hope I helped.

It takes me about 1/8 of a second to tell someone. I learned a long time ago that even though it's sometimes hard to have 'that conversation', in the end...it's better. Nothing comes of letting something stew in your brain. It only gives the problem legs (meaning it makes it a bigger problem that it probably is). Be brave, don't worry, and speak up. It was an accomplishment for me, but now it's easy. Practice makes perfect.

Don't worry, it happens to me as well :)p

Avoiding conflict with hope of smooth things over are all good intentions. But I realized that you do have to take sides in order to resolve problems. And that is your own side!! So, disagree and conflict will bound to happen from time to time.

As far as relationship, what I've done so far is keep a journal, write when you're feeling blue, get more hobbies to keep youself better is good too. If you have difficulties sharing or communicate with your partner, maybe you can try writing letters to him to keep things cool and level headed. It helps your to remember and reference back when you both talk about it later

Good Luck!

Join the club - I am a worrying fool...but I have calmed down now and I am much much happier. What happens happens and if I tried my best and did what I could then that is okay. Things will work out, the sun will rise again and my husband loves me totally.

But yes I do let it build sometimes and I have to remind myself that it will be okay. So I say Honey I have to tell you this or that and he listens and says okay we'll do this or you handled it just right....

It is worse in my head than out in the open. I personally think women do it more than men - that is us hard habit to break!

Best thing you can do is speak about it while it's fresh. If you fester about it then it will make the situation seem worse than it is. You have to talk about it calmly. Don't let things bother you for a long time. If you think it's something trivial....then get out a pen and paper and write it all down then read it back the next day. That way you can see how you really feel.