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What's your reaction to this poem I just wrote about love & relationships?
Leggo O' My LegoMobile II
The lone hand aligned the two lost worlds with the rest of the universe...
Drivin' along in my legomobile
A globe was suddenly tossed beneath the wheel
I whipped my head around but no it wasn't Augustus
Who's to say whether it was one man's justice?
The soothing hand dropped the thing from another world into my path...
Drivin' along in my legomobile
Once more on a pretty even keel
I was startled, I must admit
It caused me stop and ponder for quite a bit.
The counseling hand made a double crossbones sign just in front of me...
Drivin' along in my legomobile
I slammed to a stop with a great squeal
My chosen path not the right one it seems
I reversed and chose instead the path of my dreams.
The indifferent hand taught me something about them, I think...
Drivin' along in my legomobile
It felt like my heart did an aerial cartwheel
Along with the music I was listening to
As I paid attention to life's lessons, old and new.
The aggressive hand said via thought bubble, "Gun the man down" in glow-in-the-dark terms...
Drivin' along in my legomobile
Somethin' stuck in the engine flywheel
I could go no further without some help
Definitely aggravating enough for a strong yelp.
The taxidermist hand led me to an unmarked grave...
Drivin' along in my legomobile
Fixed by someone with negative sex appeal
I was diverted to a path I'd definitely not chosen
But one I have to admit, after the shock, was ambrosian.
The sarcastic hand yelled, "For the love of money don't let this one get away, silly!"...
Drivin' along in my legomobile
Guided by the thoughts after dark I definitely feel
I couldn't stop but had an epiphany
Kinda hard not to pay attention to such a litany.
The final hand was blown away by the storm...
Drivin' along in my legomobile
I saw it all clearly, kissed with a seal
Through the lightning flashing all around
I clearly chose not to run aground.
Whether the planets remain aligned is anyone's guess
Separate they might just make a mess
If there's one thing I know it's that I have a choice
But sometimes it takes input from others to hear my voice.
This time I'm gonna build my own legomobile
I'm gonna stay behind the wheel
Whatever comes, joy or sorrow
I will keep building and learning, each day, each tomorrow.
This was written in response to this question:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=200710...
I just couldn't write a murder/mystery without writing this first, based on a poem I'd written long ago but completely different subject, and with the titles given as my muse. (:
Isn't there *anyone* on Y!A who will read this and give me some input? <feels sad>
1 Answer
- Hoosier DaddyLv 51 decade agoFavorite Answer
The contrast between strict meter/rhyme and the prosaic lines is a difficult technique to master. Some readers may have problems following this.