Was this enough of a consequence for hitting a female classmate and chipping her tooth?

Question

Asking in Polls and Parenting both, because want both general and parent-specific information.

A couple weeks ago, my 13 year old stepson sat in a different chair in band (no assigned seats but places where they generally sit). A girl said, "Hey, that's my seat!" and pulled the chair out from under him. He picked up his trumpet case and hit her with it, chipping a tooth.

School consequence: Pulled from band and put in study hall for rest of semester. May, or may not, be allowed back into band next semester (he is upset enough about this to refuse to talk about it).
Bio mom consequence: Grounded to his room for one week with no TV, computer time, or reading. Allowed to sit, stand or lie down in room (no toys or books in room; "empty" room) or come out and do chores for Mom instead.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

i just read your profile. have i told you how awesome you are? 


ok, on this situation, not knowing the details such as home life, or what anger he has built up, but i am assuming he is raised hitting girls is NOT acceptable.  

the girl was wrong for pulling the seat.. did she get that sort of punishment from the school? violence is not tolerated in any way shape or form. they were both wrong in the eyes of fighting BUT she started this physical act. I would appeal the decision of not letting him back in the band unless the girl is getting the same punishment. 

girl or no girl.. pulling the chair was not right. 
chippin her tooth with the strike of the band equipment was WRONG. there could have been much more damage done as her pulling the chair out making him fall.  
i try to look at both sides of the situation and with the information given, that is what i think.

Mr. Peachy® · Answer

This sounds kinda like football.... someone kicks you in the ribs when you're down in a pile, you get up and punch the S.O.B. and then get thrown out of the game while the perp walks. 

Anything happen to the spoiled brat girl? Your stepson reacted with the same rage I would have. What the girl did was flat out wrong. What he did in retaliation was wrong also. (I would have been more sneaky and insured that I wouldn't get in trouble for my retaliation. Paying back without leaving incriminating evidence requires more cunning than most can muster, however. I know it's wrong, but revenge has a much sweeter taste than swallowing your pride.)

The consequences are just, I guess. As long as he understands that bad behavior will not be tolerated. To me, the important thing is for him to know that two wrongs don't make a right. If the girl got off Scot free, then he's going to (rightfully) feel the consequences are unfair. If she got punished similarly, then all is well.

kayboff · Answer

So...what consequence did the girl that pulled the chair out from under him endure...besides a chipped tooth.

Anonymous · Answer

Sounds fair, although that girl got her just desserts as well. They both got fair punishment.

Anonymous · Answer

what he did was totlly wrong. you should never hit another, unless they HIT you first. as for the punishment, it is CRUEL. at least give the boy a book and learn something...

Anonymous · Answer

i think the kid should be able to read

Was this enough of a consequence for hitting a female classmate and chipping her tooth?

6 Answers