When someone really hurts your feelings with words, what does one say ?

Question

A woman in my group said " you 3 women have pretty smiles , but not you ______". I don't find that funny at all. I contacted her and told her she hurt my feelings. Her response was " I"ll never be able to tell you another joke". And also " you are far too sensitive, you need to ____________ and ___________________ and kept telling me how wrong I was. I was taught that when someone expresses their feelings, you don't turn around and tell them they were wrong to have the feelings they had ???  She would not accept the fact that she had been mean .

Alpha · Accepted Answer

While she was in the wrong, you need to use your brain. What is the point of telling someone who hurts your feelings that they succeeded? A "joke" that crass is not a joke and that means she is a DELIBERATELY callous mean person, so why tell her you were hurt? Did you seriously believe such a person is going to regret or feel sorry and apologize?

If you did, then you need to know that there are people like that who get off knowing they hurt others; they like it. And telling them they succeeded only makes them continue.

What you need to do is to distance yourself from her. She is not a friend and she is not someone you want to be around.

Anonymous · Answer

That women must have issues...you don't say that stuff if you're happy and content with your life.. I remember something similar happened to me in middle school,where an ugly girl said you r pretty to the two other girls ( including herself), and she basically said to my face that I wasn't pretty..lol.  And to be honest I was probably the prettiest one in the group. I'd just ignore that silly women haha she's pathetic

? · Answer

So play her at her own game. Find her soft spot and keep jabbing at it repeatedly. When she confronts you just say exactly the same as she said to you about it being a joke. I got into an argument with my older sister. Being the baby (I'm 45 now mind) they all think they can talk down to me but I told her straight. Whilst I didn't like doing it, it needed doing and felt very good afterwards.

Letting people disrespect you is a huge No No for most people. Speak up or she'll keep doing it and before long the others will join in too

When someone really hurts your feelings with words, what does one say ?

3 Answers