Was I being extremely inappropriate?

Question

On Saturday I messaged an old friend of mine just because I really miss our friendship.  We had a falling out but I’ve tried to be nice to him even after our falling out.  Anyways I told him that my dad and his fiancé are getting married on Monday, and that I would love it if he would come because my entire family would be there.   I told him that there would be plenty of food, drinks, and games, and if he wanted he could bring his swim trunks and go in the hot tub.  I also told him that he could sleep with my room with me and that if money was an issue that I would pay for his gas.  I told him that I considered him one of my best friends and that it would make my day and make me the happiest person in the world.  Especially since previously I found out that there had been a possibility that we were related (we’re not a family member of mine is one of his mom’s best friends) but he never said thanks for telling me, I know I would have.
Anyways he responds with: Honestly all the things you just set me are extremely inappropriate and I’m trying to be nice,but it’s really not okay.

So is what I sent him extremely inappropriate in your opinion?  Do you think he should have at least thanked me in used his manners?

Anonymous · Answer

Something is in the mortar than the pestle here. You both are def. not on the same page,

? · Answer

No, just trollishous.

Anonymous · Answer

Hey my might-be-relation come and have fun at your fiances wedding with someone else. You gotta be staying in bed with me( totally sexual invitation), because I am paying for you and blah blah jesus, can’t you see yourself how you are coming off as? Most grown up men gonna be insulted by all of the above.

sparrow · Answer

If you were never boyfriend and girlfriend, then it's inappropriate to tell him that he can sleep in
your room with you. Also, he might have a girlfriend, and feel pressured to tell you that so
that she won't be upset.

Brenda Morris · Answer

Well you make yourself to be extremely desperate to get him back with you, offering money, food and a room with you.  Makes him want to shove off away from you.  I don't know all the circumstances but he feels you are being inappropriate so to him you are over the top especially in offering your own room with you but taken all together it's yea over the top.  Invite but don't beg and bribe for what you want.

, · Answer

Apparently, the "falling out" was more significant to him than it was to you.  What matters is what your ex-friend thinks - not some random strangers on the internet.

Beverly S · Answer

I guess I need more info on what caused the initial problem..

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think it's inappropriate to try and be friends again with a person you've had a falling out with. I think the point where it got inappropriate was when you were offering for him to sleep in your bed with you. Maybe that made him feel awkward.

Anonymous · Answer

Personally, I would never message something like this.  I don't think what you "said" was inappropriate, but when you message, you're giving it the same importance as telling a friend you'll be 10 minutes late.

And then, the result is predictable.  You don't know what exactly he is "telling" you, so you're stuck over-analyzing his words and then critiquing them.

I love texting and PM-ing as much as anyone, but I'll never understand people who use it like this.

? · Answer

Yes.  What you sent was inappropriate given that the friendship is over.  Leave the guy alone.

Was I being extremely inappropriate?

15 Answers