Are my parents being fair?

Question

Last night I was making dinner, and while I was cooking I decided I wanted to listen to some metal music. All of a sudden my dad comes home and tells me to turn it off. I tell him that I’m making dinner and that I should get to choose the music & if my family has a problem with it. I won’t make dinner. my dad responds with, “you won’t be eating here If you don’t make dinner.” 
I’m upset I& decide I’m going to play a pop song that has some explicit words, well my dad goes ballistic. I tell him that he stressed me out and that because if that dinner is ruined. He then starts freaking out and corners me against a wall I tell him to eff off he threatens to punch me, in which I kicked him in self defense. I end up leaving the house eventually I come back home.

My dad and stepmom are in the kitchen and they say they want to talk. My stepmom goes on about how she doesn’ t tolerate violence and that it was wrong for me to kick my dad because that shows children bad things. She has a 7 year old daughter. She then tells me that she doesn’t want any songs with explicit lyrics being played. Which is understandable. She proceeds to tell me that she never wants to hear any metal song in the house ever again. I ask her why since a lot of metal songs don’t have explicit lyrics .. She responds with its angry music and it’s not healthy for little children to be listening to it, and that metal music is disrespectful. 
Do you guys think my family is being fair? . Opinions?

? · Answer

There's this invention called earbuds. Get some.

requiemofstrings · Answer

I would say find out if that threat about not making dinner and leaving the house is real

They make a point though..children pick up whatever music or words or behaviors adults are doing and your step mom’s concern is justified

Does this happen all the time? Do you have other examples similar to this?

Katie · Answer

If my kid went to the kitchen, started making a mess "making dinner" and then started blasting music. I tell him to turn it off once, so he changes it to a song with explicit words. In my house? Yeah you'd be in trouble.

Ender772 · Answer

usually these stories are told by some teen who was clearly in the wrong but...not this time...this time..i would say your dad flew off the handle multiple times...treating you more like a pet than a child.

Anonymous · Answer

It sounds like you have anger management issues.  Ask your parents if their insurance covers mental health and if you can see a therapist.  You could land in prison for assaulting someone who isn't a parent, and learning to deal with your emotional outbursts while you're young will be invaluable in keeping you out of trouble as you age.

linkus86 · Answer

This is why being a teenager is so difficult.  Your desire to do things your way conflict with the way your parents want them done. This is no different when you were little, but when you were little you accepted the rules.  As a teenager, you somehow get the idea that they no longer apply.  And when they are, you think its not fair that you don't get to do things your way.

But there is a way to do things your way.  You just have focus on your 18th birthday (assuming you are younger than 18) because then you will be able to move out and begin taking care of yourself choosing to live your life your way.  Your parents already did so, hence why their rules supersede what you think is fair.

Good Luck

MrWakeup · Answer

Absolutely fair of them assuming they pay all the bills and the housing.  If you do not contribute to the household bills, you really don't have a chance here.  Only other option for you is to see if you can play the music you want softer/softly so that it doesn't impact the household.

You don't state how old you are, or how loud the music was/is.

Perhaps some ear buds.  Or work on compromise.

Find some of the more mellower songs of the bands/musicians/metal music that you like and allow them to take a listen to see if it is appropriate.

The only thing in your favor is that you were making dinner or you make dinner.
The other thing to say is that you kicked your dad and you are sorry about that, but that perhaps you were a little scared as you were backed into a corner and he seemed a bit upset which as you stated were stressed out (from the situation).

Pearl · Answer

i think its fair and it wasnt fair for you to kick your dad like that, rnaybe you should apologize

jimmy · Answer

Nope but it doesn't matter it's their house, their rules deal with it.

Are my parents being fair?

9 Answers