HOW DOES you become a Santa Claus? Do you have to get voted in?

It is good to have true devotion to Saint Nicholas, who is the patron saint of merchants.

There is already a Santa Claus on the North Pole and he lives forever (is immortal), I think.

There was no vote; he just got his elves together and started up operations.

There still might still be room for another Santa on the South Pole, if you can get past security.

Youse becomes Santa Clause by stealing Stewie's time machine from family guy and going back in time. You need to go back to the beginning of the Clause family line and knock off Hans Clause and then impregnate his wife and blow Rudolph the Blue Balled Reindeer. Wait 40 weeks until your child is born and perform the Satanic rituals of Santa Clausen Fuhrer with Blue Rudy's load and your child and then you will gain immortality and you will begin $hitting elves....lots of elves...they will just throw an emergency escape ladder out of your rear and slide on down....anyhow, just start with the time machine. The beard and the other stuff will happen with the Xmas magic.

PS if all of this doesn't work, then send me your resume and I can get you a job at the mall as a guy who dresses up at Santa.

Nah. If you want to be Santa, just have kids.

Become plump, and grow a long white beard. I have those, and, .....

No, it's a permanent position. Santa is Jesus's cousin on his mother's side. I believe he's also related to Dr. Who by marriage.

oh and i mean real santa not stupid mall santa i dont like getting my picture taken