I run my own business to provide for my family but she says im selfish.?

If it helps, this is a lot more common than you realize. It used to be even more common when most moms stayed at home. And the underlying problem is always the same - bad communication.

It's obvious you resent her, although the reason isn't as clear. If you buy her everything she wants, are you expecting her to raise the kids in exchange for this? That's just one example. I'm also guessing you resent her for expecting too much from you after a hard day's work. On her end, she resents you for appearing disinterested in your kids. Maybe she thinks she found a good dad for them, but now he's not holding up his end of the bargain.

All of this is fixable, but both of you have to lose the siege mentality. She has no right to call you selfish, but maybe you have no right to add up the hours you think she's "on duty". Again, this gets back to bad communication.

The other common issue in these situations is the 2 of you aren't nurturing your relationship. Every expert on the planet recommends that couples set aside date nights every other week or so to reconnect. Same with occasional long weekends. A marriage doesn't run under its own steam, and when people lose sight of this, both think the other takes them for granted. So do this. And on the communication, if you can't find a way to openly and honestly discuss all this, get yourselves some couples counseling. Or even one of those couples retreats where you learn better communication tools. The biggest cause of break ups is lack of communication, and it's behind other big causes, like finances, etc. This doesn't come naturally to all couples, and you owe it to yourselves and your kids to do what it takes to create an environment where this stuff doesn't build up and lead to resentment.

People who run their own business can choose how much time they want to work. You didn't mention anything that indicates that you're being selfish. According to what you said, your partner seems useless. Anyway you're the one who chose her.

What you could tell her is YOU GO GET A JOB, AND YOU WORK !!!

If she helped financially, then you could spend more time with the kids.

It doesn’t matter what people hear think, you’r wife is unhappy, that needs to be your priority. It’s amazing that you provide for your family so well, but family life is balance and getting the balance right is hard. If she wants you to pay more attention to them is she willing to bring in some money (part time job) you would lose not being at work? There has to be compromise... every one of us are different, and expect different values from the people we love. For a happy life you need to both sit down calmly, digs aside and discuss what’s upsetting you both and what can be done about it. There’s two sides to every story and although it seems like she is being unreasonable, we as outsiders don’t know how willing she is to help the balance shift, so I can’t say if you’re right or wrong. But I hope I’ve made you think about the fact that her asking you to be around the kids more is for the kids and you, not her, because she loves you. You need to be willing to budge and so does she

i dont think youre wrong , i think she is for talking to you like that

Take out the word "selfish" -

She is asking you to spend more time with your children.

The problem here isn't that you are selfish, but that you are not present in the lives of your children. It shows in the way you describe them and their activities- as if you are somehow determining her pay rate according to the amount of work she has to do.

Yes, *your* six old child spends half the day in school. And the rest of the time, he needs to be parented closely and carefully, because small children are sponges that need their questions answered and their play monitored, and learn by your every action. Having a six year old and a two year old is exhausting - notice I didn't say "can be" - it IS. It is also likely more work than you do.

Assuming you are married, the money you earn automatically belongs equally to your wife. She could fly off to a spa for a week at a time, and leave you to care for your own children if she wanted to.

But she doesn't. She stays home all day to look after two very active small children, takes your son to and from school, and does everything for them. the least you can do is not complain about her getting her nails done, and going to the gym- no doubt, so she can maintain her figure for you, after bearing two children.

My suggestion would be for you to take three days off from work, arrange for someone to cover for you. Then let your wife go on a short trip with a friend, and YOU stay home with your kids. The rules are, she doesn't come running home to bail you out- it's all you, all the time. And then you'd see what she actually has to do. It's far more than you can likely manage.

Sit down with your wife, and arrange a schedule so you can spend time with your kids. She isn't complaining about not having enough- unless it's enough of you being there with your own family. You will get more out of it than anyone, if you do- and you should.

No doubt you are looking after your family well but for her call you selfish there should be some hidden meaning .Try to improve your bedroom relationship with her .

Hmmm seems she is a selfish woman living it up under your expense then blames you as all you do is work. So you feel bad being the provider. Dont negate her role tho as a mother - its hard BUT you all have your responsibilities.

Say okay fair enough and try to schedule time with the family - remember life is nothing if it all about money and business - why work hard if you cant play hard to?!

Explain how you feel and what bothers you but remember you on an even board at all times. Dont disrespect each others position as there both important.

SO give her what she wants

spend time with your children

she can give up the gym memberships and nails etc

but you can certainly cook dinner "sometimes"

Yes, you are wrong if you are not giving your children time and attention.

no but she is