My mother is ruining my life......?

Question

when i was 13, we had a family business to take care of. But then i found out my mother had a kidney disease. therefore she was hospitalised for a LONG time. More than a year. for that year and probably the next 2 years of high school on and off. This meant that, for me, everyday after school i had to go and work at that dump. (thats not what i am angry about) Its that i have 2 brothers that do nothing at home and dont even bother to help out. So everyday it was wake up, school, work, homework/exams, sleep. This had caused me to lose most of my friends; my grades dropping and antisocial behaviour to develop. Now that im getting upto finishing my degree (still living at home due to that dump i was talking about) and then she's having another surgery while my siblings stay at home and do nothing while i waste my time working at that dump. I had recently found a job and was even called for a job interview when she goes and says that i cant because i'll have to work at that dump again. her surgery is appaently going to only affect her for a few days before she can work again. So i have to give up my potential job just so she can rest for a couple of days....i cant even attend the interview. Thats after months of telling me how useless and dumb i am while being in uni and why i STILL dont have a job..... and then when i find one, she threatens to kick me out if i even ATTEND the effing interview.

I F*CKING give up.

Baa Baa · Answer

The only way to make things better is to stop being a doormat and take a stand.  Tell your mother you have an interview to go to and won't be able to be available and she should ask or make one of your brothers take over.  Simple as that.  Don't let her throw a guilt trip on you and anything said let it fall on deaf ears.  Who gets this business when the parents die?  If your brothers are getting part of it, then they should be doing just as much as you in sharing the responsibilities.  I think it's past due for you to start making your own decisions and not letting others run your life.  No one can do it for you except you.  If you let people (even family) walk all over you, then they often times will take advantage of you.  Quit being a victim.  Good luck.

Orla C · Answer

No, don't give up, sit your brothers down and tell them that it is now up to THEM to look after things, because YOU are going off to live your OWN life, you have to date worked hard to keep things going and you've had enough.

Oh, they rail at you and give you a hard time, but you hang in there and don't back down. They've had it easy for far too long. It might mean that you don't speak to any of them for a while, but you'll get your point across.

Anonymous · Answer

If I am the one who is wearing your shoes, walking through stuff like this, I would not get angry, because I don't want to see my mom sick. I will do everything, like everything just to see smile, happy, and I of course will be really pissed off if my family just sit at home doing nothing, but my goal right now is to help mom, and if just seeing my families doesn't help, makes me feel like I doesn't need to help, then who will help her? 
I will have a mindset that, if she doesn't appreciate what I had done for her, that is ok, because she had done so much to me, that I could never replace. 
Well,, hope it helps..Cheers!

dman63 · Answer

Go to that interview and ace it.  You've done more than your share for your family and it's time for your brothers to step up to the plate and help out.  You have your own life and career to get on with.

Lib.rare.ian · Answer

You're 'letting' your mom ruin your life. And you're letting your brothers get away with enabling it. Move out and let your brothers take care of her now.

? · Answer

Seems like you've been working hard your whole life, and hard work pays off. Get out of there and get your life started. Don't be cinderella anymore

Fingers · Answer

Time to grow up and leave home. If you don't like the way youre being treated, get the hell out. Youre getting antisocial because youre angry. Stop letting others control your feelings.

cynthia · Answer

You need to stand up your mom isn't the one taking care of you your taking care of her and you so CALL HER BLUFF let her throw you out....NOT GOING TO HAPPEN YOUR SIBLINGS WONT DO CRAP FOR HER AND SHE KNOWS THAT SO YOU NEED TO START LIVING FOR YOU CAUSE IN THE END YOU ARE ALL THAT MATTERS. YOU DESERVE TO DO WHAT YOU WANT YOUVE EARNED IT...TELL YOUR SIBLINGS THAT ITS THEIR TURN ANDTHAT U R PLANNING TO MOVE OUT AND WATCH HOW QUICK EVERYTHING CHANGES. EITHER WAY YOU KNOW WHATS RIGHT AND SHE ISNT RIGHT SO LET HER FIGHT AND JUST DO WHAT YOUR GOING TO DO. DONT LET HER WIN..SHES WINNING BECUZ SHES HOLDING YOU BACK KEEPING YOU UNDER HER THUMB BECUZ SHE KNOWS SHE CAN ....CHANGE THINGS...GOOD LUCK

Pearl L · Answer

i wouldnt let her stop you from taking the job, your lazy siblings can now work at the dump cause you cant, and if she kicks you out then go stay somewhere else

My mother is ruining my life......?

9 Answers