Confused over the comments my sister made about me?

Question

A little backstory-

My sister gave birth to her daughter a year ago and I see them about once every two weeks (always been that way since she was born) and my other sister/her husband were named her god-parents.

Tonight when all of us were heading up to visit my Dad and I offered to bring up one of my nieces's books and that's when my sister snapped at me by saying "I feel like you are trying to step in and control my daughter! Also that your tryingher to prove yourself"

Her comments perplexed me because I would never try to step in and take her parents role in her life, I never try to tell my sister how to parent her daughter. I never step in and do anything without my sisters permission and I always ask her first, for example " would you like me to give her a strawberry?". However, yet its ok for my other sister to step in and give her baths, take her for walks, offer to watch her for the night, give her food etc... and nothing is said to her yet she thinks' I'm overbearing and acts like I'm some kind of threat to my neice.

Am I trying to prove things? Sure I guess, I mean I do try my best to be a good  uncle to her, but that's about it.

What should I do about this?

? · Accepted Answer

There are all kinds of family dynamics. 
You're the brother?
Who knows that could be it.
Perhaps say, "How can I help?" "What do you think about...."
Or just ignore the baby. Then she'll invite you to be involved.
It would really be hard to guess what you should do.

Daver · Answer

< A little backstory->> Okay. I'm confused now too - because you're already making with the backstory without giving me the slightest clue what the main idea is first. Give me the 'short of it' FIRST - and THEN go into the backstory, if necessary. < her god-parents.>> Okay. One sister, whom you see every other week had a daughter a year ago, and your other sister, and husband were named the child's godparents. Got it. < do about this?>> Well, I wasn't there, for one thing. And I'm not a part of your family, for another, so I don't know the "family dynamics". but it does sound to me like your sister needs to CHILL OUT. ANYTIME anyone EVER tells me that something I do makes them "feel" this way or that way, whether it's a good feel or a bad feel, I ALWAYS respond, well that's what happens when you go by what you "feel" instead of what makes sense logically. Now, logically, did it REALLY appear as if you were really trying to usurp any parental authority at all in offering to take your nieces OWN BOOK to it's rightful owner? A BLIND person's going to SEE it IMMEDIATELY - that you so obviously were NOT usurping anyone's authority, either deliberately or by accident. Like I said, your sister needs to CHILL OUT and perhaps work through some issues that you know about that I don't, or perhaps issues that even you don't know about. . . .?

Confused over the comments my sister made about me?

2 Answers