What would you do if you had my name?

I admit it... I hate my name. I've hated it for as long as I can remember. It's not that my parents gave me an obnoxious celebrity name, or that it's girly or anything... I just can't stand the name. My name is Christopher Stephen, and I've gone by Chris my entire life.

There are a few problems I have with my name. First and foremost is that I despise being called Chris. I never liked the way it sounded with my last name, and I particularly hated it in school as there were at least two other boys named Chris in every class I had and at least one girl named Chris about half the time as well. Of course teachers and classmates never called me Christopher, even when I asked, so I was stuck with this stupid name I never liked. It didn't help that when I got older, I fell in love with a woman named Crissy, which was what I was called by some of the kids I didn't get along with. Although she thought it was funny that we had essentially the same name, I cringed whenever we met new people.

It gets worse. I don't mind my middle name as much, but I can't use it, as Stephen is my uncle's name (I was named after him). I tried to get my family to call me by my middle name and was repeatedly scorned and told that I was being stupid. My (now ex) father-in-law is a Steven as well, and even though my daughter knows him as Pepe, the name he called his own grandfather, the name Stephen just doesn't feel like my own. And finally, the most damning indictment of my name comes out of my personal beliefs. Christopher Stephen, translated from their Greek roots, mean "Follower of Christ, the Crowned One", which is about the most ironic name anyone could give to someone who became an Atheist. Given my antipathy toward the Christian faith, I just love it when someone gets smart and reminds me what my name actually means.

I'm 40 years old now, and in the last year, I've made a lot of changes to try and make whatever remains of my life as good as I can. Problem is, I still hate my god*mn name. All of it. The best thing I can think of is to change it to something that doesn't make me furious. My mom wanted to name me Kyle, and I've recently thought about using her maiden name as my last name in order to abandon the last name I share with my father, with whom I have a fairly antagonistic relationship. I have no idea what I would pick for a middle name (I am primarily English in ancestry, so I would want to have a name that ties back to England somehow). So, if you were me, what would you do?