He asked!!! i dont know what to say :/?

Question

my bf is talking non stop about getting married and having babies...the whole hoopla... and i do too.. its all i ever dreamed of... hes flat out told his family that im the girl hes gonna spend the rest of his life with!!! and i want to be with him forever too... but the only problem is... ( sigh,,,) i cant afford to get married... and i feel so stupid.. my family barely gets by and with todays economy its hard.. after paying rent i have enough for bills and groceries and gas... but after that !! maybe 12 bucks!! there is no way i could afford a dress , banquet hall ,, invitations.. when i my mom found out about him wanting to ask me to marry him .... the look on her face was far from ecstatic...she looked like she saw a ghost... its soo embarrassing to tell him or to even write this... and i feel like garbage sometimes.. i have always avoided getting into relationshiips for this reason but i fell for him and when my family found out they said dont bother cus " he is the crystal you look cus you cant afford it " or im not good enough for him and i feel that way sometimes... like why me? even his family asks him that! everything i have i worked for.. my own place car and the clothes i wear.. and he works too it just hes never had it hard in life.. 
what do i do? i feel a poor dumb idiot

Lynn · Accepted Answer

Marriage isn't about the big wedding with all the hoopla. It's about two people, who love each other and want to commit the rest of their lives together. Everything else is just materialistic. The vows DO NOT change just because they are done in a fancy setting. If you really want to get married, have a small ceremony now, and later on when finances are better (maybe on an anniversary) have your big day.

Blue Sky · Answer

Don't worry about having a fancy wedding with all the bells and whistles and get just married at your local county court house. Its cheap and just as valid as any other way of getting hitched. You can always have a reception after the fact, or just have a get together with family and friends to celebrate. Congrats to you and your husband to be and good luck.

layla · Answer

sounds like you're not that excited to get married since youre thinking about the costs instead of the actual meaning of what being married to someone is about. maybe you're not ready? which is okay. I personally don't believe marriage is that important...its just another way of saying, "you're officially forever mine, can never cheat on me, leave me, you're stuck with me, and if you want to leave sign all these papers" kinda deal. any who, wish you luck, and maybe think about it some more before making the big decision.

? · Answer

Don't worry about money, get married and split cheese burgers until you two can afford caviar. That's beautiful. There's nothing wrong with that.

That girl · Answer

Money makes its way when you need it most. I went to goodwill for my gown and had the wedding at a family members house. Everyone brought a dish! It was wonderful :) it&#x27;s love, not materialism!

Anonymous · Answer

Marry legally and then hold a ceremony later.  Congrats on being asked though.

noiradle · Answer

He'll accept the fact that marriage isn't financially viable for you right now if he really loves you. That or you can make him pay for it all!

Anonymous · Answer

Hmm.. dose he know your broke . If so he has to know that this is all caming outt of his wallet.

He asked!!! i dont know what to say :/?

8 Answers