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When does it become too much for a girlfriend to take on boyfriends kids?
I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year and a half now. We moved in together this last January. I have a 5 year old daughter and he has a 10 year old son and a 9 year old daughter. We have his kids every other week and my daughter Full time. It seems like I'm becoming the only parent in the home. He is working long days and I am self employed. Because I'm self employed he takes advantage of the fact that I am home so I can be with the kids when needed. I have to make sure his kids get to school....are picked up from school...do their homework....get to extra curricular activities.....eat supper and so on. My daughter is in preschool in the a.m. After school she goes to daycare until 5 and on Wednesday's she has dance. I'm able to get a lot of work done. When we have his kids I take them all to school at the same time...but I pick mine up at 11 drop her off at daycare and then the other two at 3:30....then His daughter has dance on Monday nights at 5 then we pick my daughter up from daycare and I am just not able to get done what I need to. On top of that I do most of the house work and make super most nights. He works till 7 or 8 at night. I'm still expected to pay my half of the bills but how can I do that when I am not able to get all my work done when we have the kids here? How would you handle this situation? I'm stressed beyond max:-(
4 Answers
- ?Lv 78 years ago
I think your complaint is reasonable.
This is what I would do:
I would get my own place not get live together/married until the kids are at least 18 yrs old.
My guess is that he knows very well that your plate is full yet he's ok with it because he's not having to do a thing.
When I was dating I purposely chose not to date guys with little kids like for that reason. My bf has a 25 yr old son who lives on his own.
I have a friend who was living was a guy who did this to her. I said to myself "that isn't going to be me". It's gotten to the point, where even the mother of the kiddos calls her to take the kids clothes shopping for school clothes, medical appts, and school events. It's ridiculous!
- Marie KLv 78 years ago
Tell him that caring for three children is interfering with your work time and that his "1/2" of the bills need to include his kids expenses and he needs to actually spend some time with them.
This is why you don't get into an arrangement of splitting bills evenly always, either you are a combined family or you are not
you do not sound like you are
- Killah BLv 68 years ago
You need to talk to him about it. If he expects you to work this much as well as take care of a home and children, you are going to lose your mind. You might want to think of working less and becoming a bit of a housewife, or finding yourself a babysitter who can pick up the kids, at least a couple times a week. This would help a tiny bit, I hope.
