Am I alone in thinking that having kids is to serve self?

well, if you don't see your kids on a regular basis, it's no wonder you feel the way you do. try to spend as much time as possible with them, and you may feel differently.

So tell me what exactly do you have to look forward to?

You are a poor example to your sons. They will become as self-centered and

use people, like apparently you used your ex.

Love makes children, teaching them good moral ways to live, bringing about a

new generation of selfless individuals who will help others and make a strong nation.

When you just look after yourself there is no legacy, nothing at all.

I somewhat agree with you. We have children because we want them.. We aren't in the days where its that we HAVE to have them because it's expected of us, to keep the family/our name alive or to help populate our community or family… We have them because of the desire for family and children.

I do want kids, but not until I have lived MY LIFE. I want to earn, save and spend my money, i want to do all my travelling before they come along. I want to really enjoy me myself and I and whom ever love i choose to share it with. I have no interest on going on family holidays… that scream $$$$ and stress to me. I don't think many people have kids to feel loved, that feeling and giving of love is just something that naturally comes (for most) And you and I may not understand that because (sorry you made it unclear whether those children are yours) maybe we dont understand what it feels like to have a connection with our very own offspring, I believe some parents dont have/never experienced that connection). I thought the whole babies, kids etc thing was foolish until my longest and closest friend had a child and I looked after that baby for a month and I did feel a very strong maternal instinct, I loved that child and I saw his beauty and the joy he brought me just from purely being alive, it was unconditional because he wasn't mine and he wasn't necessarily doing anything for me but it felt so strong and it came from no where I guess, perhaps the mind? But I felt like he was my own from our connection, and I really have no interest in babies and dont find them appealing or cute. So I can't explain that, but I guess it goes both ways, I dont want to have kids because I'm selfish and some people have kids because they are selfish.

Everyone is different. I believe many people have children for selfish reasons. But some people meet a person that they love, and they want to create something that is a part of their partner. They make a child, and they love the child because it is a part of their partner, and themselves. Not everyone is the same, and people like you should stop thinking that all people do things for the same reasons.