Should I lose my virginity in a threesome?

Question

Here's the deal. So I have two friends that are in a relationship. I'm closer with the guy - we go home on public transportation together, and we talk about a lot of stuff, whatever. The girl I am also good friends with, she makes jokes about she and I having sex together and I go along, and one time she fondles my boobs and I was cool with that (she's just that sort of person).

So the guy and I were talking (we talk about their bedroom life a lot, there are a lot of entertaining stories, and interesting facts about the act that I hadn't known beforehand. Of course we talk about other things as well, but both of us basically are incapable of feeling awkward so we talk about what they do together) and he goes "Oh by the way, *girlfriend's name* wants to to know if you'll have a threesome with us."

I wasn't surprised by his asking, I knew she had wanted a threesome for ages and that he was cool with it, I wasn't even surprised that she chose me, since we all trust each other and are very relaxed around each other. I didn't answer him then, but I'm thinking now.

The thing is, it sounds ridiculously fun. A threesome with people who I trust and have experience? A no-brainer, right? But the thing is, I have zero sexual experience. I haven't even gotten to third base. And I am NOT into girls. The thought of going down on one, to be honest, disgusts me a bit.

The truth is, I know I will have regret whatever I do. I know if I do it, I will regret not saving it for someone who means something to me like that. At the same time, you save leftovers. My sex is not a leftover. And if I let this go, I could be losing an opportunity to do it with people I trust - as well as having fun. Of course, I don't want to ruin the very close and amazing friendship I have with the guy.

I'm seventeen, they are both sixteen and VERY experienced.

So here's the basic question - which is more worth it. For me to go ahead (which my friends and peers are saying I should do) and do it, but then regret losing it to people I don't love, or don't do it, regret the missed opportunity, have awkwardness in our friendship, and wish I had sexual experience sooner?

Leanndra · Accepted Answer

I think that if you are very comfortable with them and you know for sure that you will not get emotionally attached or be in competition with one of them then go for it.  Most people lose their viginity to a bf/gf and since they are young the relationship doesn't last anyways, so you might as well do it with friends if it is possible that way you all explore your sexuality together in a less stressful with more concentration of exploring all the ways to experiance pleasure.  
The first time will be akward and not so pleasurable.  That is just what happenes but if you guys keep at it they can show you how to relax and make it the most wonderful experiance ever.  You will learn how to make yourself feel good and make others feel good as well which are skills that you can use for the rest of your life.

Anonymous · Answer

Personally, that is now how I would have wanted to have my first time.

I would talk to them and be open an honest about your concerns.  Tell them that you don't like the idea of going down on a woman, nor are you 100% comfortable with losing your virginity like that.

You might discover that there is a way around it.  Maybe they will be happy with a three way makeout or something else.



The other complication is that you might develop feelings for the guy you lost your virginity too, which would not be uncommon.  That could really mess up everyone's friendship.



I personally have nothing against threesomes at all, but they are best for people that can differentiate between sex and love, and you don't have the experience yet to know if you can do it.



On the other hand there are worse ways to lose your virginity.  I know plenty of people who lost it to someone they loved, even a spouse, who ended up regretting it when that relationship didn't work out.  I know others who planned on waiting for someone special and then ended up getting drunk and sleeping with someone they just met.


So I guess the upside would be you loosing it on your own terms.

? · Answer

Maan, i would not even trip about these people saying how bad it's. Given that folks are continually going to be speakme smack no matter what you do, there'll invariably be negative responses. Anywayy. If you fairly like this chick and shes distinct to you, I suppose you will have to go via with the sex if thats what you both want, might be having the threesome later in time? Erm if all of you wanna go all out and have a threesome to be your first time then go for it o.O but i would ensure that woman the specialone brought in is fosho she wants a threesome with the 2 of you as her first time. So long as you all are cozy with the whole thing I feel. ^^;

geetarman56 · Answer

Personally I don't think a 3some is a good place to lose virginity. I think it should only be lost to someone you have deep feelings for such as love feelings, and only then when you think you can trust them to honor you for giving up your virginity to you. How really experienced can these 16 year olds be? Especially emotionally about haivng sex with a third person involved.  Do it if you want, but you may regret it afterwards.

? · Answer

no- losing your virginity is awkward enough, mine was really awkward, buy a little funny, I lost mine to a girl I had been going out with for about 3 months I was 16 and she was 15, and her brother was dating my sister. So her parents left town for the weekend and so we went out on a date and went back to her house, but when we were "in the middle" her brother and my sister got the same idea, and her brothers room was across the hall, they didnt know we were in her room and they left his door open, so we went to go take a shower, naked, I opened her door and we all got a very good look at people we should have gone a lifetime without.

Anonymous · Answer

Me and my friend are 13 and i havnt even met this guy but ive talked to him on facebook, And me and my friend are going to lose our virgintiy to him at his house this weekend. We are going to have a threesome. I havnt had my period yet so i know i wont get pregnant. But my friend might. Because shes had her period.

Anonymous · Answer

you should wait

Xeno · Answer

NOOOOOO THREESOMES ALWAYS END BADLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Should I lose my virginity in a threesome?

8 Answers