Any tips on flying with a baby on a 13 hour flight?

I'm a former Flight Attendant and I fly a lot with my three children, usually alone on long-haul between Europe and California.

First of all, make sure your baby is healthy and doesn't have an ear infection. Visit the doctor a few days before leaving and have him checked out. Ear problems are more common in children and flying with one is both painful and potentially damaging. Luckily, it's also rare but the very few times I've seen it, everyone suffered! They're also easy to clear up so don't risk it.

Babies cry for many reasons. One is that they are unnecessarily woken up on take-off and landing. It's a myth that babies have to suck on something during these times. If your baby's ears are clear, then there wont be any problem with the pressurization. Please let your child sleep peacefully during those times. The AAP recommends that the baby be awake, not on landing (which is too late for the ears) but at the TOP of descent, about an hour before landing. Offer something to drink but just having the baby awake, laughing coughing, moving his head, does the trick.

Teething is another reason babies cry. Bring some sort of ointment or pain killer (or both, like I used to do). You may not want to use these too much on the ground but be a bit more liberal in the air, for your fellow passengers' sake if nothing else. The altitude can cause swelling and make any kind of teeth pain worse.

The most common reason I've seen babies cry is because of temperature. So many times I would suggest to parents that they remove a baby's heavy sweater and they immediately calmed down. Such a simple thing but bear in mind that you may be feeling very differently than he does. Planes do funny things with temperatures. It can be very hot when you board and then turn very cold after take-off. The air conditioning is a bit strong because of the number of people so bring a bonnet, especially if the baby is bald, even if it's hot where you are/going and summer.

Since I'm a former Flight Attendant, I am going to remind you that using a car seat on board is the only way to fly safely with a baby. Air travel itself is super-safe so there is little chance of anything going wrong. This is a big subject and you may or may not have purchased a seat for him. I will say that both the babies I saw on my flights and my own children were calmer and slept better in their familiar car seat then in my lap. They often fell asleep in my arms and then I transferred them into the seat to finish their naps. I found bassinets to be less useful in that regard. You usually have to remove a baby during turbulence (which you wouldn't with the car seat) and some airlines wont allow awake babies in them. Bassinets are not safety items either, just convenient with very small lap babies (check the weight limit before requesting).

If your baby seems fussy, look around. See if there is a reading light in his eyes or sun. Don't hesitate to ask the passenger to lower his window shade and the reading lights sometimes can be "adjusted". Another trick, for example if the offending light is one of a couple, the other person can light up theirs' and that might calm the baby down. Please try to jump on this just as he seems fussy and not wait till he's wailing.

The absolute secret to easy flying easily with a baby and for calming them on board is to use a baby carrier. Avoid the fiddly front packs like the Bjorn which are uncomfortable and get something more useful. For a small baby, I likes a ring sling. You can also use a wrap if you're very comfortable with it (big learning curve) and some parents like front/back carriers like Mei Tai's, Becos or Ergos, especially if the baby can hold his head up. Fussy baby? Pop them in the carrier and I'd take a little walk and they usually dropped off. Make sure though, if you don't have a seat for him, that he is not in the carrier just for take-off and landing. He's safer LOOSE in your lap.

If he does cry, get up and walk with him and even jump in a lav if one is free. I usually went for a lav that was next to another so that I wasn't blocking it for someone who wanted to use it for it's original purpose. Don't subject the same people in your area to the crying. You can also walk back to the galley. We would pull the curtains and let the little one get the worse of it over with as far away from the others as possible.

Here are my totally non-commercial flying tips including more information on car seats, what to bring and baby carriers;

http://flyingwithchildren1.blogspot.com/

Have a peaceful flight!

Can you? Yes. traveling with a 3 month old isn't dangerous to your child's health. Double check with the airline if there is a charge for a lap infant - there might be a charge even if you take him as a lap baby for an international flight. But also check if their flights will have layettes available in the bulkhead seats - you can put the baby there to sleep, and it will be much more comfortable for you. If there is an empty seat next to you, yes you can use an FAA approved car seat. But unless you buy a seat for your son there are no guarantees of a free seat to use, and the flight attendants may not allow you to take the car seat on board unless you have a ticket for him. Don't forget your son will need a passport (if American) or get added to your passport if that's how your country handles it.

Request a bassinet. And you can hold the baby to comfort him/her, maybe that will stop the crying. I imagine babies don't cry just to be jerks. They do it cos they're upset. But then, what do I know about babies anyway?

Babies cry, in 13 hours there is no way around it.