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How do you nicely turn down a guy friend that asks you out?
I'm in college for programming, so most of my friends are guys. One in particular I'm friends with, but lately he's been wanting to hang out ALL THE TIME. While we're friends, I don't want to hang out every day, but I can usually get out of it saying I have other plans.
Last night we hung out and he asked me out on a "real date". I always get nervous talking about that kind of stuff, so I basically just said "I don't know". I really meant no, though. I just don't have feelings for him like that, and I can't see myself ever getting together with him more than just friends.
Whats the best way to say that, without totally destroying his feelings? Or any guy's for that matter?
Thanks Lynn!
toddacanda.. That does sound pretty reasonable, much better since it's being suggested by a guy too :P
6 Answers
- ?Lv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
I am not really sure, whether I can put it right, but please consider the following. Guy becomes friend with a girl. They can talk and walk and things are working out until he opens his eyes and sees not the friend only, but somebody he grew closer with during the last period of time. Well, it was working out so good, why not just asking her out. At the same time similiar things happen on her side, with the minor difference that she does not see "her" soul mate. Now what I try to put into the right words is the following: Why don't you just go along with his idea, while communicating(straight talk) that you don't consider him your boyfriend. What is the difference? Maybe that you really find out, that he is nice and a friendly person and that there is no artificial barrier, which keeps you from going out with him without any further ambitions. How does this sound?
- ToddacandaLv 51 decade ago
Say this:
"I think you are really nice guy and a great friend and I'm really flattered but I'm not into you in that kind of way. I'm really sorry and hope we can stay friends."
Good luck to you!
- AdamLv 41 decade ago
Just be honest. It hurts more to feel led on, then denied. Tell him that you like him as a friend, and you'll be happy to keep an eye out for girls that may be into him.
- 1 decade ago
i actaully just went through this. You kinda just hafta be straight up in a nice way. Like tell him a "date" might make you feel awkward because your just friends. Or you could just say something like I dont know if your interested in me like that but I just wanna let you know ahead of time because i love you but i wouldnt wanna loose you as a friend or something like that
- 1 decade ago
Just bluntly say no - and explain that you are not interested in the relationship scene while you are at college as you want to concentrate on your studies. But you must be firm and blunt and make it crystal clear....otherwise he will keep pestering you.
