How do I deal with a friend with EXTREMELY different views on abortion than myself?

Question

I'm female and 20 and a close friend of mine is 24 and male. 
We were chatting and he got onto the topic that he thought his friends who had children young were stupid to have the kids and they should have had an abortion.

My personal views are that abortion should only be used in extreme circumstances - I mean, there is a time for it, but it's not a method of birth control. Cases of rape or when it is puts the mother at a BIG risk of death are examples. I'm sure other people here have different views, and I do respect them - but I have my limits as well. 

I learned my friend's opinion is that because abortions are covered by the government here, there is no reason to use birth control. Him and his girlfriend don't use protection, and has had not one, but SEVERAL abortions, and he still sees no reason to use protection. He's also of the opinion that if a guy is with a girl and the condom broke, there is no reason for him to tell her, because she could just get an abortion when she gets pregnant. 
I know he can have his own views, but I see that as horribly immature and irresponsible, and it makes me FURIOUS that he thinks there is absolutely nothing wrong with it and that there is no reason to even attempt to prevent pregnancy otherwise. I told him that many people regret the decision of having an abortion but he says more people regret NOT getting them. 

I'm not asking who is a winner here, but how do I deal with this? He's continues to voice his opinion to me("oh look, our friend had her baby", "she would have been happier if she got rid of it") and every time I hear it it makes me so furious I can hardly think straight. I want to remain friends, but he refuses to respect my opinions on the topic. (And it's not just this, he has extremely different views on parenting too - like there is no reason a young parent should lead a partying/drinking lifestyle like they did before kids)

How would you (and how should I ) handle this?!

? · Accepted Answer

I am not in favour of abortion. I don't dare judging women who made their decision in favour of abortion, because there are too many circumstances I would not be able to answer to. I used to have a "friend" who argumented in favour of abortion of a baby from his girl friend and I did not talk to him again, since.

Your boyfriend wants to make a point. And the way you describe it seems that he imposes on you. In case you love him and want to have a child with him then it is a good idea to talk with him about this. Tell him that you love him and that you would like to have a child with him. if he does not want to have a child with you, but does not care about i.e. protective measures (condom, etc) you should not have sex with him unless you are ready to abort your child.

So Ray, what shall it be? Abortion is a decision you have to make and it will affect your life and your health for quiet a while. I heard from one woman - a couple of years after her abortion - that she still wants her - aborted - child to live. She cried - after years.

Anonymous · Answer

come across a compromise. I in simple terms surprisingly a lot go away it to individual determination. the way i seem at it, if abortion is forbidden with the help of your faith, then you certainly shouldn't get one. persons sin. whether you view abortion as homicide, people who do have an abortion take the result for their determination, in simple terms as people who dedicate a homicide on yet another individual. they must stay with it, in this international or the subsequent. in spite of everything, i've got discovered that abortions are something this is finally left as much as a woman. that's her determination, and there is no way that somebody could be attentive to if she does have one except she comes to a decision to furnish that information.

Leslie · Answer

I sympathize with you, it is a pretty offending view on abortion. Agreeing with abortion is one thing, but using it as a form of birth control, over and over, simply becasue it is free is just outrageous. It's also a shame that whatever girl he is with agrees with this method. I would just explain to him how much you disagree and how angry and upset it makes you evertime he brings it up. If you want to remain friends with him, just ask him to leave the subject alone or you're going to have to take a break from hanging out with him.

peebo · Answer

He sound like an idiot. To look at a breathing live baby and then say she should have got rid of it is going a bit to far in my eyes. And to say people who have kids should party all the time why would anyone think that.
I could not be friends with him.

not worried · Answer

Just say "Look, you made your point, moving on...how was your day?"

No reason to cut off a friendship because he had a different (and twisted) view than you. He doesn't agree on something with you- but other than that it seems like you two are good friends. Just nip it ASAP when it happens. Say " Im glad I'll never be in that situation with you" and smile.

Anonymous · Answer

your right and hes sounds really stupid and heartless.
ask him if he was loved as a child, doesnt sound like it, tell him to keep his nasty opinions to himself when your around.

i would tell him he is extremely immature, and that i no longer wanted anything to do with him inless he changed is horrible ways. goodbye and dont look back, thats what i would do.

How do I deal with a friend with EXTREMELY different views on abortion than myself?

6 Answers