My husband is driving me crazy - am I expecting too much?

I don't think that you are unreasonable, but i too am a wife that deals with no phone calls, feeling lonely at times, and no apologies. When i talk to my husband he tells me that i am "too sensitive and that i need to get over it".

I guess most men just get comfortable with a woman and that's enough for them. For women, we just need more. I don't know if this could be changed. good luck. Apparently, he loves you because he wouldn't be with you if he didn't.

The beginning parts sounded like he was having an affair--no matter how busy he may be, most people check their cell phones. I'm not saying that he is, but he is definitely investing more of his emotional time into something else than you. They only answer when they don't want to, or are with someone they think is more important at the time.

You probably will say you still love him, but it's not a loving relationship right now and he doesn't care. Well if he doesn't care then he doesn't care. You could try leaving him and that might get his attention. I don't think anything else will, because you've obviously made an effort. You're just not right for him right now and he's not right for you.

Or maybe a vacation just the two of you will help?

You just have to figure that out. Men need sex and if their wife won't full fill them then they need to try HARDER to keep their man happy. Seriously you have to put more effort into wanting your husband. 9 years and 2 kids later so what. I am 7 years and 2 kids later and I will give him it 5 days a week because I know he NEEDS it and we both enjoy it. You have to please your man and if you are only doing it once ever couple weeks up that to 2 or 3 times a week and intitate that blow j every once a week and boy you will have a happy sexually satisfied man.

Seriously? Sounds like "typical male behavior" all of it. If it isn't important to them, it simply isn't important.

The late thing: Men don't like to "report in" "be kept on a short leash" etc, and that's why they don't call to let you know. They have no idea how we worry, or that to call and let us know they are running late isn't "being whipped" but rather "being courteous". My father is the same way. My husband used to be, but has since figured out how greatly it upsets me, as I'm one of those who automatically pictures a late person as dead or dying on the side of the road, as that is the only reasonable excuse for not calling, and thing else and you still have the ability to use a phone and put me out of my misery.

The forgotten birthday thing, same thing, isn't important to him. Doesn't mean that you aren't, just that he apparently doesn't place much stock in that sort of thing.

The lack of apology... yet another easy thing, they figure they didn't mean to hurt your feelings, and since it wasn't deliberate, no apology needed. What crap, eh? But yea, that's how they think.

Not all men are like this, but many are. My husband didn't used to get the late thing, but does now, finally, after me harping on it for a couple years, until I finally managed to either put it into words he can understand, or he now calls just to shut me up. Not sure which, don't really care.

These really aren't big things, can seem like it, but really aren't. Can try talking to him, let him know how these things make you feel, I imagine you've tried before, might be worth a shot. In the end, weigh it all out, do these minor annoyances outweigh his good points, or are they tolerable?

I can tell you I don't believe they realize how inconsiderate it is, rather they just have a different set of values.

Sounds like it's merely a marriage of convenience for him now.

You can either live with that or you cannot. But you have to make the call.