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Ray <3
Lv 7
Ray <3 asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

I'm 21 and live away from home for school - my parents are still reading my mail.. how do I make them stop?

I'm 21 (and live in ontario). I don't live with my parents anymore and haven't since I was 18. Because I'm in school, my school requires a "permanent address" which has to be the same address my parents live- they refuse to change it to my address because it's not "permanent". This address has to match up with the address the government has for me as well, so basically anything related to school (bills, transcripts, report cards, student loans) or the government (GST Refunds, income tax, etc). My bank has the same policy - it has to be the address the govt has on file, so all of my bank statements and stuff. All of this stuff goes to my parents house. I've asked my mom numerous times to not open my mail - I usually expect when something is important and warn her, but otherwise I ask her to forward it to me UNOPENED. She doesn't respect this wish, and opens everything... Because of this, she has access to all of my bank information (such as what I spend my money on by store and when, and also my bank balance), all my school information, my income info, everything. I'm a very private person, and I've been supporting myself since I was 15, so I really don't like my mom reading all that personal info about me.

I've asked her to stop, and she just seems to not notice. She'll often call and say "oh, a letter came that says this" and not even attempt to hide the fact she's opened it. Her excuse is either "I forgot" or "it might have been important". Sometimes she doesn't even tell me when things have came for me, and I'll go to visit and a stack of my opened mail will be there, often important, that I had no idea existed.

I don't really want to charge them, and it's expensive to set up a permanent forward. Any other ideas? I feel like I've tried everything!

Update:

Forwarding and redirecting here aren't cheap - like 150 dollars a year..

8 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    $12.50 a month to get your privacy back? That's nothing! Have your mail forwarded and redirected.

    You're not going to change your parents. It's possible you could call the postal authorities, because no one is supposed to open mail addressed to anyone else, I'd bet it's the same where you are. But you're not going to do that, or you would have already.

    While $150 isn't nothing, it's about the cost of one good therapist's appointment, so consider it a health expense for your peace of mind.

    Good luck!

  • ?
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    No, your not the only one. I get emotionally attached to wrestlers and whether they WANT to admit it or not, so do most wrestling fans. Even though I have been watching only since I was 7, which was December 2003 and that doesn't seem long compared to how long you've been watching but when Edge is injured or takes a hiatus, it sucks. Last Summer when Edge got sent to "hell" and took a 3 month hiatus, I was mad because without Edge, SmackDown wasn't entertaining. Because those 3 months it was the same thing every week on SmackDown. WWE Champion Triple H will come out and talk about how Jeff Hardy comes so close to being champion, then they'll start to brawl and then at the PPV Triple H beats Jeff.I was so bored with SmackDown which made Edge's return at Survivor Series make me feel like "Oh Boy SmackDown's getting interesting!". So I know how you feel.

  • 1 decade ago

    This seems to be a privacy issue between you and your mother. My mother does the same thing with my own personal information. It's a general stereotype that mothers like to pry into the private life of their children this is her little way of staying connected with you in some insignificant way. I known the feeling first hand when she looked at my college transcripts and Visa bill.

    I myself also live a somewhat 'private' lifestyle even though I still under the roof of my own parents. The feeling you have feels like someone invading your own personal space and this an uncomfortable feeling for anyone. Until you can afford to have your mail forwarded -- you need to be forward with your mother to request this by saying like this: "I feel violated when my mail is opened by you and appreciate it if remains unopened until I get home. I think you don't respect my own personal space when you open my mail. This is why I feel frustrated when you open my mail. Thank you."

    When it comes to communicating about these certain matters it's important to describe the other person's behavior, your interpretation, your feelings and the consequences the other's behaviors has for you. This may seem somewhat complicated to accomplish this way of talking at first but over time it should make sense once you get the hang of this process. I hope this helps with you and your mother. :D

  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Some of those statements may be convertible to electronic form so they go to your email address.

    Explain the situation to the organizations that are sending mail to you and see if they have any suggestions. They may be able to set up a secondary address for you (a PO Box, for example) and direct statements there instead. Or maybe you can get your official government address changed somehow, maybe to a PO Box.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    I believe there is no fair answer. It seems as if your parents love you and just don't understand your request for privacy. You could sue them, bring them to court and make clear that you have a valid and legally supported request, which was ignored. From what I understand is that your parents "love" you and "care" for you and are unable to understand. They are "stupid". They get your mail and still see the little girl they brought through a bad cough or whatever. You cannot change them, even court would not change them. My advice? I have none. Sorry

  • 1 decade ago

    You can redirect your letters by giving your school address at the post office where your letters are delivered currently.

  • 1 decade ago

    Get a post office box were u live and have your mail forwarded to it.

  • 1 decade ago

    I suggest you get a P.O. Box.

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