Do relationships like this actually exist? (details inside)?

Question

I met this guy a couple months ago in my new college class. For the first few weeks we were just friendly, but in the last few weeks we've gotten a lot closer. We got more flirty/playful with eachother. We're both in our early 20's and I guess we both knew that something more than just being friends would happen eventually.
We never took it any further than friends, because I know he has a girlfriend he lives with and has been seeing several years (something that would stop me from persuing a guy). Last night he came over to hang out (like usual) and we had some drinks and were watching movies and just goofing off like normal, and we were cuddling, and he asked if he could kiss me. We were a little drunk. I said no because I knew he had a girlfriend, and asked him about it. His response was

that even though they've been dating for a few years and live together, they're not actually exclusive. They both date other people regularly and know about eachother's other relationships, but know none of the details. They'd just be considered "bf/gf" but without being exclusive.
I've never actually met this girl. I have been in the situation before where I've dated guys and later found out they had a gf they were cheating on with me, and of course I felt bad. 
We did end up kissing and he swore it was ok. He stayed over (since we were drinking) and he was over for 24 hours without talking to his girlfriend even once.. he said they don't keep track of where eachother are or ask when eachother don't come home at night. 

I know this doesn't sound normal, but do relationships like this actually exist? I have been friends with this guy for some time so i really don't think he's just using me, but I really don't know if he'd be the type to lie and cheat or not (hard to tell). 

What do you think? Should I just trust him that it's ok or refuse just because it's possible he might be lying?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

If you know him and think he's telling the truth, then he probably is; you would be the better judge of that than us random people online.

But I would at least consider what being in that kind of relationship would mean; if he's like that with his girlfriend, and you went into a relationship with him, he might expect the same of you. It's totally your choice, and it might not be bad, but just be aware of the possibilities and what might happen.

Anonymous · Answer

These relationships do exist.  But, I think they have become more rare since the sixties when "free love" was in the air everywhere.  
If you can handle it as just a "booty call" then go ahead.  If you're expecting more, then think again.  He doesn't sound like the committing kind.  
If you need to be sure, then ask to meet his friend.  You won't need to discuss it with her.  Just act as you normally do with him.  You'll be able to tell from her reaction, and his, whether it's all as advertised.
Good luck.  It would be healthy to see a return to more open relationships and less jealousy between friends. I know it's not for everyone, but it is very depressing to read all the postings of young people on here who seem to believe that the point of "love" is owning your partner and controlling their activities.

KeZoHero · Answer

well to be honest, i dont think you should trust him. thats one mistake that girls always make. just because a guy can sweet talk you into something doesnt mean you can trust him. i mean come on, he has a gf and what are you gonna be his 2nd gf?? and you know, even if you did date him, can you really trust him not talking to other girls while he is with you?

Anonymous · Answer

very rare in american society but it is possible if they have established trust.
get closer to the girl 
hint at night situations so she sais she trusts him

Jake M · Answer

hes lying no girl would date him and let him go off on his own like that

Only · Answer

Something seems suspicious about him...

Do relationships like this actually exist? (details inside)?

6 Answers