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Just found out I'm pregnant with #2, and hubby wants to terminate...what to do?

We have a 3-1/2 yr old son that took 18 months to conceieve, and with fertility treatments. WE were talking before Christmas about another. Went to my Dr fora referral to a Ob/gyn as we thought that we would need assistance again. Got the referral and appt is in March. I haven't been on birth control for over a year now, and nothing. Guess what?? We got pregnant on our own, only one month after saying we were going to try. Hubby wanted to wait 6 months, so he now wants me to terminate. He feels he is under too much stress right now (his Dad died in Dec) I can't terminate...I saw my last pregnancy at 5-1/2 weeks, and I could see a beating heart!! I just couldn't go through with it...what do I do?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Hon, you answered your own question....

    "I can't terminate...I saw my last pregnancy at 5-1/2 weeks, and I could see a beating heart!! I just couldn't go through with it..."

    Give your husband some time to get used to the idea... this is his first panic reaction. Remind him that he has more than six months to get ready for this little one to arrive. Suggest naming the baby for his dad.

    I hope you get through to him!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    What if you did terminate it, and then wanted to get pregnant again? It could be hard, and may take longer the next time cause you had a procedure done! I mean I was under a ton of stress when I found out I was prego, but it all worked out in the end. I am hoping that he will turn around, and see that it is truly a blessing. I am over hearing do everything I can think of for baby #2, and I am shocked to see how blessed you are, and he does not want it. Try to get him to see that it takes two to "tango", and it was something you both wanted not too long ago. Things hopefully will get better in the end. Good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    As far as i am concerned its your body your choice. I think your husband is being very selfish. I understand your husband is going through a hard time but your baby is a little miracle and for all you know you might not be so lucky if you terminated and then tried to conceive again at a more convenient time...you need to sit your husband down and explain to him that you cant get rid of your baby just because the time is not right for him whats a few months here or there and remember he will have 9 months to get used to it...maybe if he saw the little heart beat toohe would feel differently...best of luck and congratulations on your little miracle xxx

    Source(s): mother and childminder
  • 1 decade ago

    I can understand your husband feeling stressed- mine just lost his dad on the 16th of last month...and we're having a c-section friday. but I wouldn't recommend terminating just because of the stress of someone dying- that's just adding another death ontop of the first. Sorry for your husbands lose but if you were planning on another child than I don't see why you should terminate- babies dont concieve on whim like magic.You two may have to sit down and seriously talk though- explain to him that you don't feel comfortable terminating and try and be sympathetic with his stress.

  • 1 decade ago

    While I think women have the right to choose, your choice is obviously to have the baby and that's what you should do. I would think that your husband must be in shock because obviously abortion would not make sense in your situation at all. You talked about having another child, and you were fortunate enough to conceive without help. Just tell him he has the next 8 months to pull it together. If he's still having that much trouble with the death of his dad, maybe he should see someone to help him cope. I would think he would be even more open to the cycle of life at this point.

    Source(s): Mom to 4 boys
  • 1 decade ago

    Go with your heart. Do not kill your baby.

    Only if he asks about it or initiates the conversation, tell him quietly that there is never a "convenient" time to have a baby, that you might have trouble ever getting pregnant again, and that you won't kill your baby.

    Try to be as supportive as you can of him, but you need to go with your own heart. Things will get better, and by the time baby comes, your husband will be in a much better place with the grief. If your baby is a boy, consider naming him for the grandfather.

    Good luck to you!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I agree with the first poster. Have him go to your first appointment with you. Besides, if he wanted to try in 6 months, the good news is that you'll already be pregnant. So half of the waiting is over.

    EDIT: Some women on here are saying some harsh things about your husband, and telling you to forget about him and do what you want - they have to remember that you are ARE married, and you have respect his opinion. But others made valid points about him just needing time, and possibly needing to seek help to cope with his father's death. Either way, you ARE in a marriage, not just dating. You can't just say "screw you" over this. Please try to work it out. I'm sure he'll come around.

    Source(s): 30 weeks pregnant with #1
  • LJ
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    He's just freaking out. Taking him with you to an ultrasouund would be a great idea. You need to sit and talk with him about this and about how this is your baby, not something to "terminate". He'll get past the stress. If his dad just dies he's just going through a lot.

  • 1 decade ago

    Tell him that you just cant. Its a live human being. I can understand that he is still upset from his fathers passing. But tell him that this would be perfect for him. A beautiful start to a sad tragedy. Im sure that his father would want another grandbaby. Talk to him and make him understand. Show him a ultrasound picture. Seeing his baby might change his mind. But remember, you have to be there for him in this rough time. But make sure he is there for you too. I hope everthing works out for you and congrats on the new baby news.

  • autumn
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    take him with you to an ultrasound.

    ALso - tell him it's ridiculous to terminate this abortion - 1. you had a hard enough time trying to conceive - this is a blessing. 2. everything happens for a reason. 3. what's to say he's not going to be stressed 6 months from now? 4. It's not like the baby is being born tomorrow.

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