Retired and about to Die.........Help!?

spend alot of time with her and let her know you love her

I am sorry for your grandma situation, there is nothing you can do if she is crossing to the other side. But one think you have to understand, people don't live for ever.

All she needs now is your time, love and care.

I had faced a situation like this before. My grandma was dying and her children are all around her and she was very happy to see how much her children love her and care for her. Though they wanted to take her to the hospital she refused because she knew it's just a waste of money.

While for my grandpa the case was different, while he was about to die he became fierce like a lion. No one wanted to go near him.

Since you love your granny give her your time and all that you could.

Care is given in so many different ways! Don't discount her abilities, just because she's no longer active or a money-earner.

If she still has her brain & is able to talk, you can find many ways to make her feel important, valued & useful.

For example, when my grandmother was in a similar situation, I decided to work on our family tree. There are so many secrets that die with the elderly, if no-one is willing to spend the time with them & find out as much as possible.

She was able to remember names & dates, & I was able to plot our tree back nearly 300 years! It was fascinating, the stories she told me about the depression era, loved ones she lost in the wars, & her secret loves [which she made me swear I'd never reveal to anyone].

The most amazing thing she told me was that in her head, she was still a 16-yr old girl in regards to her dreams, desires & emotions. A beautiful young woman trapped in an old dying body.

Her face would light up when she told me these stories, & she could see in my eyes that my love for her & the interest I took in her words were genuine.

Just show her lots of love and take care of her even if she doesn't want to be taken care of. I kno wit's hard because I am going through the same thing with my grandmother and she has similar health problems and she thinks that she can still take care of everyone. I just let her feel like she is taking care of us and I halp her kinda "on the low." She does not want to feel like she is letting any of us down or feel useless. I call her to ask her little things like how to cook something or what temp or what to do with the kids when they are sick. I already know what to do and what I am going to do but you can just hear the sense of importance in her voice while she's telling me what to do. God Bless you and she is fortunate to have someone that loves her as much as you do by her side.

My grandfather is going through the same thing now. It is important to emphasize that they have been there for their family for so long it is ok to rest and let their family take care of them. Make her as comfortable has possible and shower her with her lifes achievements, for example the legacy she created. Listen to her, she has a ton of wisdom that may come spilling out. Hold her. My grandfather was a burly man's man but I'll tell you what, he gives the biggest hugs to any of his family members. I had a his first Great Granddaughter 7 months ago... Nothing makes him happier then a new framed photo in his hospital room. I wish you luck.

Let her know how important the things are that she has tried to teach you and how you think of her when certain situations happen that remind you of her teachings. Ask her for advice when ever there is a question so she will continue to know that she is a valued member of your family. Above all, love her as you always have.

I feel for you. the best I can say is spend all the time you can with her. talk to her, if you can. I lost my Mom the same way a few years ago. so ' I know how you feel. it makes you feel so helpless, because you cannot do anything to help. you want to talk to her, but can't find the words to say. for you do not know, what would be the best thing to say. but try.

if not.hold her hand, and lay your head against her hand. she will know, how you feel. even with out words. she will know, you care and love her. love is the best thing, there is to show.

Sorry' you are going thew, such a bad time. I wish you the best.

Take Care,

It's definitely not an easy thing. The best you can do is to acknowledge her concerns and validate her as a person. That way, it will be easier for her to accept the loss of control over her situation.

Tell her you love her, tell her you'll never forget her and tell her she couldn't have raised her kids and grandkids better. Tell her you'll already be happy when you become half the grandparent she is.

Ask good friends of you to take pictures of you and your relatives, ask them to also take pictures when you're not posing. Let them take 50-150 pictures, narrow those down to the 2-3 best and give those to your grandmother.

I wish you all the best.

I know how you feel, sweetheart. My grandmother is identical to yours. I keep telling her that I need her to be there for me. Her job is to guard my peace of mind. Smile. She laughs about it, but enjoys hearing it. Seriously though, find her a hobby and some good friends to spend time with. It could be a card game with friends, exchange of cooking recipes or going our for dinner from time to time. Even trips to church or a temple once of twice a week will give her something to look forward to. And don't forget to visit her often, keep telling her about how much you love her. Best wishes to both of you.

Pray