chimichanga

I'm a cuddler, but my husband is not. When we go to bed at night I am not allowed to touch him at all. Even when we make love, I'm only allowed to pull his hair and touch his bottom and private parts. We just go to bed, he on his side and I on my side. It's a king size bed so it feels like we're miles apart. I often ask him to fiddle with my hair and back, just to get some intimacy at all. But I can't touch him back. Now our daughter has the stomach flu and she threw up over the comforters and blankets. I gave her mine so she wouldn't be cold. My husband doesn't really use his except just when he's falling asleep and after he keeps it between his legs. I thought maybe he would let me cuddle just a little to get warm and then he could have it for himself. When I first started sleeping over he didn't have an extra comforter so he would reluctantly share his until we fell asleep. Then he took it and put it between his legs and I'd be shivering through the night until I started bringing my own comforter with me. So now I asked him if he would share for just a bit and he said no. He was tired, so he turned his back on me and went to sleep. Not even a kiss goodnight. I'm lying here with a big stuffed animal and two pillows over me to keep warm. We live close to the north pole. It's still winter and freezing cold here. But he needs his space. Don't get me wrong. He's a good husband in every other way. You take the good things with the bad, you know.

How is it in your relationship?

Wednesday I had a skin allergy test that came out negative. I got hives for every single prick, but they were all the same and less than the histamine control. I have urticaria/dermographism, which means I get hives for all scratches and pricks, but they usually disappear within an hour. However today, two days later, I noticed I still have hives (although not swollen) in three places where I was pricked. Is that normal or does that indicate that I might have an allergy? Has this ever happened to anyone of you before?

My doctor wants me off soda drinks (regular and sugar-free), sugar, starch (potatoes, oatmeal, rice for example) and all types of wheat. Another doctor suggests lactose free diet, since I have low tolerance for dairy products. Another doctor suggests I avoid tomatoes, tuna, spinach and other histamine rich foods. These suggestions are because of three different medical conditions I have and medications I am proscribed for them. On top of that I'm allergic to coconut and food dyes and intolerant to carrots and some nuts (like almonds, cashews, peanuts and pistachios) in big amounts. I go to college full time and I have two small children, two big dogs, a big home and a husband who works too much. I don't have the time or energy for extensive cooking. A lot of the ideas I'm given contain at least one ingredient I'm restricted from. I feel like I can just about only eat cucumber and chicken and it just seems so tedious and boring. Please, any ideas within my diet?

I want to ask you parents who have or have had a five year old how you parent. Do you let the play unsupervised in their room? Are they expected to tidy up by themselves or with help?Do they remember where to put things and do they actually put them there? What time do they go to sleep and wake up? Do they still take stuff that's not theirs and play with it? Do they remember to put away their clothes in the hamper? Do they put away their plates? Do they lie to you (about having or not having done something they were or were not supposed to? How much do you and/or your spouse follow through with enforcing house rules? My daughter is supposed to put away her clothes and dishes and she is supposed to put away her toys before she starts playing with new ones and also before bed. She lies to me about doing it and my hubby never follows through so it's hard for me to make sure she does. I found my hair pin (broken), nail clippers and a mouth wash in her room just now and I don't know how or when she got it. Only last weekI went over the entire room and toys with her and now it's like it never happened. Despite visual cues and guidelines, nothing is in it's place. I go to college more than full time and I can't spend my evenings sorting through toys when I could be doing laundry/cleaning/studying. Plus I have a 16 month old to take care of too. Am I expecting too much of my little girl?

My sister and I are singing a duet in two weeks at a choir concert. The choir does only secular stuff, some beautyshop style, old pop etc. I can only find duets that are too emotional/dramatic or too theatrical and that just doesn't fit the program. Any suggestions? We're both sopranos.

My husband and I have a great marriage, but sometimes I feel like he takes me for granted. I know he would never stray, but I still feel a little possessive over him. I trust him and don't ever prevent him from doing whatever he wants, but I still hate the idea of other women showing an interest in my man, even if he would never notice it himself. I want him to trust me and feel secure in our relationship, I do, but it would still be nice to feel like he was at least a tiny little bit possessive over me. He doesn't care if other men look at me or think about me. Once a guy even grabbed my breasts at a club (in front of him) and he didn't do anything, even though it was it was against my will. He doesn't give it a second thought if I meet guy friends without him. Still, I'm attractive, I get attention and I could easily find another man if I wanted to. Of course I would never, since I love my man and we have kids. But does his lack of possessiveness/jealousy mean that he doesn't care? Should I worry? Would anything make a husband like mine jealous or is it just that he thinks noone would ever give ME a second thought?

One is your dream job, but demands a degree that is hard to get accepted into, demands licensing, is harder to find a job as, but with experience you can have more control over and even be your own boss, but that's less secure, pays worse in the beginning but ends up being similar to the other one. The other one demands a degree that is less specified and easier to get into, easier to find a job as, more diverse work environment but you can never be your own boss, pays well, even from the start, but it's not really what your heart desires, although you could imagine to settle with doing that. Would you let your heart decide and choose the more exciting but less secure or folliw your head and choose the more boring but better paid?

I have very disfunctional parents and a complicated relationship with them. My father is a difficult man, doesn't talk to me much and is quick to anger, but he can be absolutely wonderful and caring when he is in a good mood. My mother is entitled, manipulative, deceitful and controlling, but also warm and caring and helpful to others. My parents are in deep financial troubles. They lost their house and now my 80 year old widowed grandmother is loosing hers too because of them. I just found out that through the years they have been forcing her to sell her properties and downsizing to get (more than) their share of my father's inheritence from my grandfather. They are renting an expensive house and refuse to live in an apartment, even though it would have saved my old granny from loosing her house. She can't even buy an apartment unless my aunt takes a loan to pay for third of it. I think it is my mother who insists on a specific lifestyle my father simply cannot afford. When he lost his job in the recession she was furious at him. She told me that if they lost everything and had to live in an apartment she might as well divorce him and live in an apartment on her own. She talks **** about him behind his back all the time, to his children, his own mother, her family and friends. He can be difficult to interact with, yes, and he handles money poorly, but everything can't just be his fault. Should I tell him what she has been saying behind his back all these years?

I had a positive ovulation test on day 13 but on day 18 I had pain in my lower abdomen, in the left pelvis area, as well as lower back pain, fatigue, hot flashes and a little nausea and fatigue. I'm wondering if ovulation could be the reason. I know that it cannot be a second ovulation, as it can only happen once in a 24 hour period during each cycle, but I've read that stress can sometimes delay ovulation. But I don't know if the surge needs to be delayed also for that to happen. Or could this perhaps be a cyst after the ovulation last week? Any thoughts? I took pergotime (same as clomid) on days 3-7 by the way.

I've been reading up on and listening to lectures on NLP and some by Anthony Robbins and when they speak about anchoring they often talk about the person you are supposed to anchor finding a powerful moment or feeling in their life that you can anchor to a new situation. But what do you to help this person if he or she tells you they have never ever felt powerful in their life, that their whole life has been feeling victimised and helpless and no matter how much they wanted to take control of their lives they couldn't even imagine how that was supposed to feel? How can you anchor such a person? Won't you just be anchoring the bad feelings?

My father can't stand me and I kind of don't like him either but in my heart I've always wanted us to be on good terms.

I was the typical "daddy's little girl" but I've had "daddy issues" for a long time now. It began with me believing he favored my brother over me (which he does, but who can compete with male bonding) to believing that he absolutely couldn't stand me. In anger he's said some things along those lines, like I didn't matter or that I was boring or annoying. He would tell me to shut up or turn on the radio when I opened my mouth, trying to have a normal conversation. We were at each others throats until I was in my early twenties and moved out.

Since then we've kept things on the polite side but barely spoken, although he is an absolutely fantastic grandfather to his grandchild. We just kind of rub each other the wrong way but we do our best to keep the peace. A few years back he took me fishing. I thought he was finally reaching out and I was so happy that he actually wanted to spend alone time with me and we had a wonderful, relaxed and tension free time together. I started having hopes of us mending our relationship - until someone revealed to me that he had been forced to reach out. It ruined everything for me and I felt like our time together had been a lie. He was just in a good mood because he liked fishing, not because he was having a good time with me. He doesn't know that I know.

Since then I've tried very hard to accept (and I have) the fact that although he loves me very much and is very proud of my accomplishments that he just doesn't like me as a person and that we will never have the father-daughter relationship I always wanted. Although he is a bit socially disabled, to find a polite term for it, he bonds much better with my siblings and I find it hard not to be jealous of them being able to have actual conversations with him and joke around with him whereas everything I say always seems to be the wrong thing. Somehow my efforts always seem awkward and offensive and I know that it is in part my fault. I've inherited his disdaining tone of voice and I've tried very hard to overcome it but apparently I do not always manage to sound happy enough. It's hard to be myself around him. Once in a social gathering when I had been entertaining people he gave me an awkward compliment/insult, telling me he hadn't known I could be this much fun. I was so baffled that I wanted to shout at him that he had never bothered to get to know me, that's why, but I decided not to make a scene.

Anyway, he recently asked me to go fishing again with him and I have it on good authority that this time it is his initiative. I just broke in tears when I found out. I've spent all this time removing emotions from our relationship and now they seem to be flowing back and I hate it. My dad actually wants to spend time with me. With ME! Alone! I don't know how to handle it. I don't want to say no and set our relationship back many years and bring up to the surface our past issues and arguments when we've tried to hard to keep the peace all these years. I want to take my mother's advice and just take and be happy with the bite that I am given but I find it difficult. It was easier to keep an emotional distance from him and know where I had him - not in a place I liked but a place I had accepted. What do I do now? My mother tells me I always have these expectations of him when I should just accept how he is. Should it even matter what he thinks of me or how he feels about me after all this time?

Any thoughts? Anyone had a similar experience? Please don't be mean.

I remember back in the day when Yahoo! had an option in Messenger where one could join a chat room and talk to strangers with similar interests. There was a group for psychic interest, another for dating, another for religion or region etc. Needless to say, I haven't used the messenger for a while and I can't seem to find this option anymore. Does Yahoo! still offer this kind of activity anywhere? If not, could you guide me to where I can find popular chat rooms like these.

My fiance and I have been together for two years. We've lived together for most of that time and we have an 11 month old baby. Recently there has been much strain on the relationship and I feel my love is fading. Actually, there have been many outside influences putting a strain on the relationship pretty much ever since it started, but we've been ok until all of a sudden I discovered that I'm just not in love with him anymore.

My fiance works a lot (as he always has), so our time together is limited and mostly spent as a family and seldom just as a couple. In the past three or four months all three of us have gotten the flu twice and been a long time recovering (especially him) and we have experienced two miscarriages. When my guy gets sick he gets herpes in the face and on the lips and because I don't have it we go weeks and weeks without ever being able to kiss on the lips. The baby sleeps in our room, but I've been wanting to move it to a separate bedroom for almost six months now (I've wanted privacy so we could be more intimate), but the furniture is too heavy for me to move by myself and my fiance is too busy to help. Because of the illnesses and miscarriages our sex life has seriously reduced from what was already seldom because of the baby and all. Our intimacy in general is lacking and I suddenly find myself not being in love with him anymore. I'm irritated at him all the time and I can't stop thinking about wanting a break from him. I haven't gotten to the point where I seriously want to leave him, especially because of the baby, but if it were only the two of us I don't know if I would stick around. I feel better when he's not home or when I'm out and about, whether it's alone or with the baby, and I often fantasize about going away for a holiday, with just the baby and not him. I love him, as in I care for him, but I'm not in love with him anymore. I've even lost all desire to kiss him or have sex with him.

I want to fix this and feel the love again, but how can I do it without telling him what's really going on and hurting his feelings? Is our relationship doomed or is there hope for us? How can I revive the passion in my heart? Have any of you experience something similar and been able to get out of the pit and fall in love again?

Please don't say almonds, carrots, peanuts, cashews or pistachios! That's all I can find online and I'm allergic to all of these. I want to make energy bars and substitute the grated coconut with something else.

Also, in general, it might be nice to know a substitute for coconut and all of the other ingredients in cooked food and cookies as well, since they are all popular and 3/4 of all the most interesting recipes I find contain these. :(

We have one child and are trying for another. We live in a condo and we have a cat. He has a dog that lives at his parents house. They are selling and we need to take the dog. We need a bigger place with a yard so we can keep the dog. My future in-laws have offered to sell us their house cheaper than what it's worth, but I absolutely hate the house. They built it themselves and then added a couple of new "wings" to the house that don't match the house that was before. It's very impractically organized and we would have to take down several walls, a whole wing, put up other walls, enlarge doors, bathrooms etc to make it suitable for a family with small children. The floors are also badly done and the house is ugly. Even if we get this discount from the house payment from them it's still going to be extremely costly to fix it up so it's going to end up being at least as expensive as a similar house, if not more. My hubby to be has had no time at all to fix up the place we currently live in, so I sincerely doubt we'll be able to fix the new house the way we want. He knows the house needs work, but it has been his lifelong dream to buy it and he has promised to fix it, but I don't trust it. My lifelong dream has been to build my own house but he won't hear of it. I've tried to compromise by suggesting other houses to him, but he won't hear of it either. In his eyes they can never compare to his parents' house and even if they are perfect we are not getting as much for our money as with the one he wants. I think it's really unfair to only want one house in the world and no other. How can I get him to compromise? I'm not going to budge and move into a house I hate.

I'm a terrible housewife and I need some help organizing my household chores. I find myself either doing too little or everything at once. When I do things in bulks I tend to get sick of it and want to take an easy day, so it's probably easier for me to just have a schedule with both work time and downtime. I'm also confused about how often I should do each task.

Household schedule: My husband works 9-5 and his life is pretty hectic because he also has a private firm which he works from at home, so I can't really expect him to take much part in the chores. We have a cat which is part angora and sheds like crazy, but we have wooden floors, which makes it a little bit better, but I need to mop every day to every other day to keep things clean. It's also an indoor cat and her litter box needs to be emptied at least once a week.

I'm staying at home with my 5 month old. She is breastfeeding and currently waking up twice during the night, so I'm pretty beat in the morning and after feedings too. I'm also pumping at least once a day to increase my milk supply. I also feed her baby rice cereal between 6-7. She takes two naps for about 2-2 1/2 hours each, usually, and she might also take one half an hour nap in the afternoon sometimes. She is pretty demanding when she is awake I can pretty much only eat and go to the bathroom during that time and need to save showering and chores until she's asleep. Btw, I'm also the one who cooks and I'm a newbie at it so it usually takes me at least an hour to prepare a meal, no matter how simple it is, 20 minute recipes or whatever.

Time out of the house: I take my daughter to baby swimming class twice a week (tue/fri) and I'm out of the house two evenings a week for choir and meditation group (mon/wed). I also have voice lessons with my mother and her house once a week usually (tue or thu), which includes taking the baby with me and pretty much spend most of the day there because she naps there. I might also go out with her during the day on occasion to meet other moms or some friends.

House conditions: We have a living room/dining room in one, kitchen, bathroom, hall, office, nursery and our bedroom. All have wooden floors except for the kitchen, which has linoleum, and bathroom and hall, that have tiles. We only have one washer/dryer, which of course does only one or the other at a time and drying takes three hours, so laundry takes quite some scheduling to keep up with it. I also have some plants I'm trying to keep alive, but I tend to forget about them. We do not currently have a dishwasher, but we're getting one on Monday, yay! That will help things, because my back and pelvis can't handle much standing up at a time. They haven't healed yet after the pregnancy so unless I want to immobilize myself for the rest of the day I can't do much at a time.

Any tips on how I could schedule my days to do what needs to be done? I really need some help.

So I'm used to cooking pasta, but I'd never cooked fettuccine until last night. My pasta always turns out well, very nicely al dente, but last night some of the fettuccine was al dente, some was overcooked and some was undercooked and still it was all in the same pot, with the same heat and cooked the same way I always cook pasta. Are you supposed to cook fettuccine in a specific way? My pasta carbonara was totally ruined because of my bad fettuccine.

I had a regular period my first month on the mini-pill, then some light bleeding. Now I only get spotting. Is that normal?

I keep burping too.

My main complaint is that I have had soar breasts for 9 days straight. I have never had soar breasts before. It began in the nipples and then the soreness spread out. It was really uncomfortable the first week, but now it's more like a sense of "streaming" tension throughout the whole breasts. The symptoms are equal in each breast, but varies which one hurts more at a given time.

Also, for 8 days the big veins in my breasts have been very apparent, for 3 days I suddenly have very apparent stretch marks and for 2 days the little veins are very clear as well.

The first day of my last period was October 11th. Then 7 days ago I had slight vaginal bleeding, light pink in color, and it only came in the toilet paper, not my panties. The next day there was nothing and the next two days I had slight brownish blood in my panties. Yesterday I thought I started my period and I was really pissed off because it was five days early. It was fresh blood, but then it was just a little bit and now just very, very little brownish stuff again.

I took a pregnancy test yesterday, because I thought all of this was weird and my friends suggested it, and it came out negative. I'm not supposed to start my period until Sunday the 9th of November, so it could be a false result, but since I'm bleeding already, although little, I doubt that is the reason.

The breast soreness eased a little bit yesterday and today it's the same, but it's still soar and uncomfortable. I read somewhere that breast soreness could be related to cancer, but since the symptoms are identical in both breasts I don't think that's it.

A friend of mine says my breast symptoms are identical to hers when she got pregnant (and she got them five days after conception) and because I've also been emotional she thought I was pregnant until I got my "period" (if that's what it was) and the pregnancy test came out negative yesterday. I'm willing to believe that there might be some kind of hormonal overflow, but now it is unlikely that it's pregnancy that causes it.

I've also been extremely tired for five days, ready to faint from tiredness in the evening.

Is this something I should be worried about and have checked out? What could be a possible reason for this?